The Debt Chronicles

Ha!

2012-02-12T12:17:00.000-08:00

I was going through my posts from the past year, and decided to read my comments from April, the month I decided to move in with H.

Just wanted to officially point out to everyone that despite moving in with H two months after meeting him, I have proved that I'm not insane and I did not make a bad financial decision (I'm currently paying $877.50/mo less than I was living with my mother). I'm happy and feel extremely lucky.

Also, to the commenter who said that being financially insecure is what I get for not passing the bar and getting the "high paying lawyer job"? You clearly don't know a damn thing about the legal industry. I'm currently getting paid more than some of my former classmates. I could easily get a place on my own, and I could easily have gotten a place on my own last year. The only reason I decided to move into a place with my mother (where I PAID $6000 UP FRONT, while she paid nothing) was for the companionship.

I think I'm a fairly good judge of character; I felt a connection with H, and I trusted him. But yes, I was still taking a risk. I wouldn't recommend that other people do what I did. Regardless, the people who were really judgmental and basically telling me I was an idiot? I'm giving you the middle finger. And to the people that had some sensitivity and gave me constructive criticism? I appreciate it, despite not following your advice.

Valentine's Day for the Haters

2012-02-10T19:16:00.000-08:00

So H has let it be known that he hates Valentine's Day. Apparently he had a lot of bad experiences as a kid that have shaped how he feels about it as an adult. I, on the other hand, have always been in love with V-Day, primarily thanks to my mom and experiences at school. I had so much fun handing out valentines to my classmates! And my mom always had chocolate and little presents waiting for me when I got home. (I already received my V-Day presents from her in the mail; a delivery of chocolate covered strawberries and cheesecakes!) M spoiled me a bit for V-Day as well; I was given a painting done by him for our 1st, and a framed compilation of our best pictures for our last. I don't consider it a "girls' holiday." I gave M presents, I give my friends and family presents (even if it's a little box of chocolates). I believe in spreading love everyday, of course, but it's awesome having a special day devoted to it.

H doesn't agree. He says he feels it "cheapens" love and he hates the commercial aspect. Regardless, I had planned to buy him something I knew he really wanted, and I was looking at recipes to make a nice dinner (which is not something I do often). And then the other day he and our roommate went on a "let's bash V-Day" fest. He's said he wishes I didn't like Valentine's Day. I'm not expecting anything, although I admit I'm disappointed, because I put a lot of thought into his gift and the night in general.

I can't decide if I should (a) just scrap the idea of getting him anything and treat the day like any other, (b) spend the night out with friends, or (c) go all out, be selfless, get him the present and make the dinner, knowing there likely won't be reciprocation.

Have any of you ever changed someone's mind about V-Day?

Before 30 Goals

2012-02-08T20:14:00.000-08:00

I mentioned that I wanted to save up $7,800... I currently have $4,000. I've budgeted for $50/mo to be put into savings. At that rate, it would take me six years to achieve my goal - ack!

I still have my Miu Miu and my old laptop to sell, among other things. I'd like to save up $3,800 in ONE AND A HALF years (by August 2013), and have 50% of my debt paid off by December 2013. Wish me luck!

Monies

2012-02-08T19:06:00.000-08:00

H just paid me back, I made approximately $700 from my purse sales, and I'm getting a $400 tax refund!

So this is how my money situation is looking -

Checking - $700
Savings - $4000

My credit card debt is now standing at $20,259 (I've paid an additional $312 since my last update!), with the breakdown as follows:

Bofa
4874
4522

Dept Stores
800
1571

Dept Store MC
6776

Capital One
1716

I think I might bring the Bofa cards both down to 4500, but otherwise, I'm keeping my money in savings. I'd like to build that up to $7800 (3 months worth of living expenses), and then start aggressively tackling the cards.

Also, apparently I can't do math... I haven't paid 12.5% of my debt, I'm at 9.3%. :/ Still... progress!

Debt Update

2012-01-15T16:36:00.001-08:00

I updated my sidebar and my complete debt disclosure page. I've paid off slightly over 12% of my credit card debt!! Not very impressive for a year's time, but better than adding to my debt (especially considering I've been supporting another person for five months)! :)

Spending (Food)

2012-01-15T14:56:00.000-08:00

I'm going to start keeping track of my food spending... that's the area where things really get out of control.

January 1-15

Groceries $134.56 (out of $200)
Eating out $118.85 (out of $100)
Lunch at work $3.50 (out of $70)

So... no more eating out, and $46.59 left for food for the rest of the month. If I eat Subway everyday for the next month, I'll still have $17 leftover (so I can get one or two Starbucks or nicer lunches. Yay!)

Can't wait til H gets his first paycheck and can start paying the other half of the food budget!!

Goodbye Purse Collection

2012-01-12T19:54:00.000-08:00

I am selling off (the majority of) my purse collection! I have a coral red Miu Miu, a yellow Botkier, an orange Linea Pelle, a blue Rebecca Minkoff, a black Rafe clutch, and 2 Tylie Malibus for sale! Whew. eBay's today-only special offer (no listing fees) was what convinced me it was time to get it done. I need to pay off this debt! And get money into savings!

Let me know if any of you are in the market for a purse! Everything's going for a great price. :)

New Budget

2012-01-11T13:53:00.000-08:00

Check out the "My Budget" tab for my updated budget. It might not look ideal to you guys, but after 5 months of paying through the nose for both H and I, it made me sigh in relief to finally be in the black (though admittedly not by much). As an aside, the "haircut" category can really be regarded as "savings"... I haven't gotten my hair cut in a year, and I'll continue to go as long as I can without.

H will also be paying me back for the rent/utilities I've covered for the past 5 months, approximately $3400. Some of that will go into savings and some will go towards the credit cards.

After the bar's over, I may think about getting a second job. I want that credit card debt gone by the time I'm 30 (2 years to go!).

Happy New Year!

2012-01-02T15:42:00.000-08:00

This past year has been a whirlwind of activity - a huge break-up, a new love, a new job, two moves...

I haven't made any resolutions for 2012, though my goals this year are to exercise more, pass the bar, and get a higher-paying job!

Here's to a (happier, healthier) fantastic new year! :)

Happy Holidays

2011-12-26T15:53:00.000-08:00

I had a fantastic Christmas, hope those of you who celebrate did too! Generally, hope you all had a lovely holiday season! I'm looking forward to a four day weekend, and then settling back into a normal routine.

Thanks to an amazing Christmas and birthday present, I am now the proud owner of a MacBook. I'm debating whether to sell my approximately two year old Lenovo, or give it to my mom.

I'm starting bar study today! Wish me luck... The bar is in just under two months. Gulp.

H and I are going on 11 months now. He was hired at a REALLY great company, and will start in a few weeks. Hooray! Best Christmas present yet.

I'll post in the next week about my money situation. I've been supporting the two of us for the past couple months, so things have been tight, but I've been deliriously happy regardless.

Thanks to all my readers for sticking around!

Checking in

2011-10-03T00:39:00.000-07:00

I'm alive! :) And will make a renewed effort to blog again. (How many times have I said that now??) Time has been flying by, and I've been so busy...

H and I remain together. Things are good; better than ever, really. Almost 8 months now. He has job interviews next week; it's exactly what he's been looking for, and it's local. I'm optimistic.

We found a roommate! Not a complete stranger - a friend of a friend. He's been here for about a month. He's awesome... We got lucky. He's paying $675/mo, bringing our rent down to $1245.

I got a raise last week! Only a little more than 1%, but it's better than nothing. I'm searching for a job in earnest, but having not passed the bar (I still haven't retaken it), my options are fairly limited. Wish me luck!

Hope you're all doing well!! :) I'm listening to and loving the new Christina Perri album... and staying up way too late. Whoops.

And another month goes by...

2011-07-16T19:52:00.000-07:00

I finally have my computer set up in the bedroom; maybe that'll motivate me to start blogging regularly again.

H and I have been together 5 months now, and talk of moving up north has ceased. He had (almost) secured a job down here, and he was talking about buying a house and renting it out 'til our lease expired. But then that job fell through... although they said they'd want to hire him in two months. So I'm not sure what's going to happen.

I've been looking for a housemate the past couple weeks. I've had hardly any bites. Any suggestions on where to post ads (other than Craigslist)?

I've also been looking for a new job. I'll be content if I can find something that pays $20k more. Keep your fingers crossed for me!

I'm also trying to decide if saving ~$30/mo is worth giving up my area code and phone number. That's what I'd have to do if I wanted to bring H onto my cellphone plan (he's in a different market, or so AT&T tells me). Would you do it?

I've been spending way too much money on food lately. I need to get a grasp on that. Maybe I can finally get a budget written this weekend...

Another life update

2011-06-18T14:45:00.000-07:00

I've never gone this long without posting before! This blog feels like a stranger now. I think I'll familiarize myself again with it soon, once I feel settled... There's been a lot of uncertainty in my life lately.

I've been enjoying life, definitely. But plans are up in the air.

I've been with H (I can't remember why I dubbed him that, but I'll go with it) for about 4 months now (living with him for almost 2), and been at the new job for 3 1/2 months. The job is going well, but I don't get paid enough, and the benefits are terrible. I need a new one. I very much like being an editor; I'd like to stick with it, if possible. But there's next to nothing out there that's a perfect match for me. I'n going to keep trying.

The biggest uncertainty in my life right now is H. He's moving up north; his mom is buying him a house, but she would prefer he live up there. It's also the location he prefers for putting down roots. I may come with him. I may not. It depends on whether I could move my current job up there (we have an office in the city), or find another job. And it depends on how things continue to progress. And I would need an official invitation. Everything is going fantastically - but a few weeks ago, when I broached the subject, he said that level of commitment "terrified" him. Maybe his terror has subsided (now that I've met most of his family, his friends, and got the stamp of approval), but I'm kind of offended that the feeling existed in the first place.

I don't know when he's going to leave. He's been postponing going up north to look at houses, I suppose because he's enjoying spending time with me.

I'm getting our second bedroom ready to move in a housemate. That'll leave us both with more options, I think.

Finances-wise, I'm doing ok, but not throwing as much at my credit card debt as I'd like. I'm looking forward to selling off more purses/clothes/shoes on ebay - I've found myself caring very little about them lately. Moving twice since the beginning of the year has instilled a little bit of loathing in me over "stuff" in general.

Hope you're all doing well! (Early) Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. :)

Thanks everyone

2011-04-20T23:46:00.000-07:00

I appreciate all the comments on my last post... even though I'm generally discounting them and deciding for myself (as per usual). ;)

I'm in a much different place than I was in January. I have a job (2 jobs, in fact), I'm emotionally recovered, M and I are at peace and back to being "best friends" (yeah, it happens). The relationship with the new guy (we'll call him H) is a bit odd; it was never meant to be anything serious, but it's evolved in a natural way (albeit backwards - sex --> love --> feeling totally comfortable with one another). Our open relationship is veering towards monogamy (but hey, the unconventional aspect of all of this is not a necessarily a bad thing. And I may continue dating -- he's fine with that, I might add).

There was one comment that made me pause, because it made absolutely no sense. Did I mention I was currently paying $1500 to live in 1 bedroom of a house with my mother (and others)? Someone said if I can afford $1200, I should be putting it towards debt. And what, living in a box? The situation I'm entering now is going to save me $550/mo. And that can potentially go towards debt.

Someone else wondered if there wasn't some other valid reason that my mom disliked H. Nope. My dad likes him. Friends like him. He's just the "intruder" who stole away the happy family time. And she probably doesn't like how quickly I slept with him. Yep, everything's been quick with him. It's been intense. People can argue that my break-up with M has something to do with it, but I think I just got REALLY lucky in terms of how great a match we are.

I'm probably going to bring in someone to live in our 2nd bedroom, bringing the rent down considerably. That may or may not be temporary. If the situation in general doesn't work out, so be it. At the least, it'll be an experience. :p

I'm a Risk Taker

2011-04-18T21:08:00.000-07:00

Apparently. Because I'm on the verge of moving in with the guy I'm dating. The guy I've been dating for just about 2 months.

I mentioned major issues with my mom in my last post. Some of the major issues have to do with my guy. She was NOT happy that I was spending all my time with him, having him come over every night. She felt like I was "choosing him over [her]" and she was shocked that I had "moved on so soon." And unfortunately the walls are very thin. So movie watching past 10 is a a problem, and other activities are an even bigger one. He was basically banned from any area of the house other than my room. She radiated hostility at him. And things exploded one night a few weeks ago. Ever since, I've basically been living in his studio. He has a tiny bed and bathroom; I've been sleeping really badly and feeling claustrophobic. So we talked about it, and decided it would be economical to move into a new place together.

He's almost 30 and never lived with anyone, despite being in several long relationships. He had a bit of a panic attack over it. I had one for different reasons. The apartment we're on the verge of renting is $1800 and a 2 bedroom/2 bath (it's really adorable, homey and bright). $900 each isn't bad and much better than what I'm paying to live with my mom. But (and it's a big but), he's looking for jobs all over the country. He's willing to go where the wind takes him. I'm firmly rooted in LA. So, if he up and left, I would have to find a roommate... but maybe that's not so bad. I've decided I enjoy living with people.

The alternative is to find a 1 bedroom that I can easily afford on my own. I have seen a few decent ones for $1200.

So... what do you think? Is this a foolish decision I'm on the verge of making? And am I a terrible person for walking away from the house that my mom and I rented together? (Note that I'm not on the lease, at her request...)

Life Update

2011-04-03T21:42:00.000-07:00

I've been at the new job almost a month now. I've also been seeing a new guy for about a month and a half. The job is going well; my coworkers are nice, the work is interesting, and I have some hours flexibility (I can come in between 8-8:30 and leave between 4:30-5:30, depending on how long of a lunch I take). I don't see myself being here for years and years, but I think it's a perfect fit for the immediate future.

The new guy situation is... different. I briefly mentioned this on twitter, but I've found myself in a bona fide open relationship. We have exchanged the "l" word, he stays at my place almost every night, but we're both still dating other people. (In the interest of disclosure, he's continued to actively see other people, while I've been putting in a lackluster effort). I'm playing it by ear for now (and shocking my friends and family!), but I'm not sure how I'm going to ultimately decide to handle it.

I may be moving again in the next month or so. My mom and I are having some major issues. Plus, I'm paying $1500 for a tiny room and limited access to the kitchen (as she feels "uncomfortable" when I have people over. But she forgets that this is OUR house. More MINE considering the amount of money I've poured into it). Ah, the joys of living with parents!

Hope you've all been well!

A New Job

2011-03-09T18:56:00.000-08:00

I interviewed for a new job on Monday... and was hired by the end of the day. The pay is crap, but the title is fairly prestigious, and I'll get a lot of networking opportunities. I still have my other (work-from-home) job too.

My monthly income will be dependent on how much work I put into my 2nd job, but I should be bringing home approximately $3800.

I still have $10k in my savings that I haven't decided what to do with... shall I leave it in savings, or throw it at my credit cards?

I need to get through the week, and then I'll prepare a real budget again.

March Goals

2011-03-03T00:15:00.001-08:00

I can't believe it's already March. How quickly time flies! I met a new guy a week ago, and although I haven't been especially productive work and goal-wise, I've been having a blast. ;)

Get a pedicure
Call CC companies re: getting interest rates reduced
List Miu Miu on eBay
Do 40 hrs/wk of work
Go to Hip Hop class at least once
Go to Yoga at least 4x
Go to the dentist for teeth cleaning
Go to Meetup events (hiking, board games)
Find a second (full-time) job

Welcome new sponsor!

2011-03-03T00:05:00.000-08:00

Welcome to my new sponsor, CareOne! Their company offers debt consolidation options, including a debt management plan and settlement. They also have helpful tools and tips on their site, as well as a community forum! Thanks for the sponsorship, CareOne. :)

(Belated) February Goals

2011-02-16T18:19:00.000-08:00

Week 1 - 2/16-2/20

~~Relist Balenciaga on eBay~~
Do ~~threading~~
~~Go to Meetup events... and meet new okc guy ;)~~

Week 2 - 2/21-28

Get a pedicure
Call CC companies re: getting interest rates reduced
List Miu Miu on eBay
Do at least 30 hrs of work
Go to Hip Hop class
~~Get a haircut~~ I love it!
Go to the dentist for teeth cleaning
Go to Meetup events

Life Right Now...

2011-02-12T00:11:00.000-08:00

In a word? Hectic. Disorganized. Stressful. The bright side... the pain in my chest has eased some. No more uncontrollable sobbing. But still sudden, sharp longing that comes and goes. It's been a month and a half. Still four and a half months to go?

The renovations to the house have still not been wrapped up. The landlord promised to have everything done by the 31st, and as of today, everything still isn't fixed. And more problems are cropping up. My bathroom is now flooding every time water is used somewhere else in the house. The toilet will start bubbling, and then the water comes gushing out below. Fun! My mom hasn't been able to move in because the garage isn't done, and she needs to put a lot of stuff in there in order to fit. Thankfully she's been able to stay in her old place without a problem. But that means she's paying double rent. We're considering asking him to take two weeks off of the March 1st rent. Has anyone else ever asked this of their landlord, with similar circumstances? What's been your experience?

The bright side is that it's a lovely house, in a nice area, within walking distance to a job I applied for the other day (which I REALLY REALLY want, I might add - keep your fingers crossed for me ;)), with a pleasant landlord (albeit one that hires lazy, semi-competent workers).

Money is really stressing me out right now, although I do have some in the bank. I just need to get a job ASAP before any more of that money disappears.

In the most important news, I've decided to postpone taking the bar until July. The folks with my bar review course have been incredibly kind to me, and offered to let me take the course again at that time. I hope I'm in a stronger, sunnier place at that time... ready to kick some ass. :) Right now, I'm just ready to get settled and focus on making money.

Lowering Interest Rates

2011-02-04T12:24:00.001-08:00

I'm getting ready to pay off some of my credit cards. But before I do that, I'm considering how to get some of my interest rates reduced. I have two cards with over 24%! I don't intend to not pay off my bills in full in the future, but regardless, I think it would be beneficial to secure some more manageable rates.

Would it best to (1) pay the cards off first and then ask for the reduction; (2) ask for the reduction now without paying anything; or (3) pay off half the balance and then ask for a reduction?

What's worked and not worked for you guys?

Edit: I'm not planning to cancel any of my cards. The ones with the highest interest rates are also, unfortunately, the oldest. But if there was some big emergency and I had to rack up a balance again, I don't want to be faced with the same high rates.

Edit2: I'm just going to call them and see what happens. I'll report back on my success or failure. :)

I'm all moved in...

2011-02-02T02:18:00.001-08:00

And I'm very, very, very tired.

...one of the reasons I got into a car accident yesterday! (But other than the guy calling me the c word numerous times, it was a minor incident - no damage, no injuries. Hopefully he doesn't try to take it anywhere!)

So now I'm faced with unpacking the millions of boxes and bags I have laying around my floor. Who knew we had this much stuff?! I seriously had the urge to sell everything - my big desk, my pc, my monitors, my dressers, clothes... I may have to look into some serious minimizing. My mom has been a HUGE help. And she has her own move to face at the end of the week!

I've been very emotional the past couple days, but starting to feel like everything's coming together. Everything will get better. It has to.

I just need my family to hurry up and move in, because the loneliness (and fear) is a little bit amplified in this big, new house...

Raising Money

2011-01-26T10:46:00.001-08:00

I'm selling some items (negotiable on everything):

~~BenQ Joybee GP1 DLP Mini Projector - $350~~ Sold :)
Balenciaga City in Jet Black - $1200
~~Chloe Paddington in Chocolate Brown - $600~~ Sold :)
Coach clutch - $100
Coach wallet - $75

If you're interested, email me at debtchronicles (at) hotmail.com. :)

Good News!

2011-01-18T22:12:00.000-08:00

I found a replacement tenant for my apartment, who plans to move in the first week of February. I found this person after a day of searching!! The apartment managers were thrilled.

My mom and I also found an awesome house (with a landlord who seems really nice) only a little more than a mile away from where I currently live (which, aside from not having tennis courts across the street, is an even better area). I can't wait to get a puppy. :)

The only iffy things are that (1) we haven't yet signed a lease (though I put down a partial deposit), and (2) the owner is renovating and thinks he'll be done in "2 weeks." He's been saying 2 weeks since Sunday, so that would put the completion date somewhere between Jan 30th-Feb 1st. It could work out perfectly. Fingers remain firmly crossed!

I need to sit down with my mom and figure out a budget. Once we have the lease signed and everything is a done deal, I'll post an update on the financial front.

I'm trying not to get angry

2011-01-10T19:48:00.000-08:00

...but I don't know if it's working.

First of all, we have been together more than 6 years. For many years, we split all our finances. We made a mutual decision for me to quit my full-time job so that I could focus on school. When I graduated from school and couldn't find a job, he agreed to pay my monthly expenses. I told him I wanted that money to be considered a loan.

When there were jobs that were not ideal that I could have taken, he encouraged me not to take them. We had long discussions where we again came to a mutual agreement that I would try to find something part-time, and just focus on studying on the bar.

I relied on him. And he relied on me, in every way that didn't have to do with money. I envisioned a future in which school was entirely behind me, and I would be supporting him while he built up his own company.

Do I think he's being GENEROUS? No. I think he's being FAIR. He's doing what is morally right in our situation. It has nothing to do with me being "irresponsible" with money. Mutual decisions were made based on the assumption that we would be together in the foreseeable future. A mutual decision was made that I would not work full-time while I was studying for the bar. He SCREWED ME OVER. He could have PREPARED ME for this. And he realizes that. Which is why these decisions have been reached. (well, that and the fact that he says he still loves and cares for me so much and wants to still be close and see me... and he's conflicted and may just be a "stupid little boy.")

And re: the lease... we are not allowed subletters. We are not allowed assignees. So I can't just find someone to take over our lease (although I did approach the landlords with the possibility - they can agree to a lease amendment if they so choose). We've always been good tenants, and this is a pretty small management company... But I don't know how they'll react.

edit: So I should mention this post was in response to comments left on my previous post... which I deleted. But I think you get the gist of what they were saying!

Finances and the Future

2011-01-10T17:43:00.001-08:00

M (or should I just start referring to him as "the ex" now?) and I talked over the weekend. These are the tentative things we've agreed to:

He's going to give me $2800 to cover finances for the next two months.
Assuming I move out by the end of January, he's going to give me $10,000 (approximately the amount he would have had to pay for rent and utilities for the next 5 months - so he'll be paying the money to me instead of the landlord).
He's going to look through all my credit card statements and determine what was for us or him, and then he'll give me half of whatever that amount is. He said gas he'll pay half automatically (since I have been his chauffeur for the past 6 yrs!), and he'll "consider" food (how many times I've brought him back food after going out with friends/family, I can't even count).
He and I are going to sell a bunch of his, my, and our stuff in the house on Craig's List and eBay and split the proceeds.

$10k/Moving Issues

This is a little tricky, because we don't have an exit clause in the lease, and there's no guarantee that the landlord will be able to rent this place by the time we'ved moved out. He knows this and we've talked about this. I think if they can't find someone, he's just going to choose to let the matter go into collections and ding his (and my) credit. The other tricky part here is that while he has already moved in with his dad and stepmom, my mom needs to find a new place before I can start moving. There are 20 days left for her to find a place, for me to move in, and for he and I to clean this place.

If I had to guess, and assuming all goes smoothly, I'll have about $18,000 come February 1st. I will probably have to use some of it for part of the security deposit and first month's rent in the new place. The rest will go to credit cards.

It will be insanely tight until I get a well-paying job again. And I'll be insanely stressed over the next two months, while I continue to struggle to deal with this break-up, study for the bar, work, and move (ugh, I hate moving). But... I'll survive. I'll put it back together again (been listening to a lot of Diana Vickers! ha).

Thank You

2011-01-06T13:02:00.000-08:00

Thank you so much for all your kind words, support and encouragement on my last post... It's helped. And thank you to everyone on Twitter for putting up with a week of my moping... and possibly many more weeks and months of it to come.

I haven't seen him since a quick visit on Monday night. He still has the majority of his stuff in our apartment. He was supposed to come by Tuesday to move more stuff, and talk to me about how we're going to handle things, but he came down with a cold. He said he was coming this weekend, but I'll be out of town with my friend (a free stay at her friend's house in the desert!). So I guess we'll talk and finalize things next week.

Yesterday morning was pretty bad, but I felt much stronger as the day wore on. But then this morning, after another night of dreams involving him, the panic welled up in me again. I called him; he didn't pick up. Thankfully, I had my mom, his sister, and my friend responding back to my texts immediately... So I didn't do something even more pathetic, like call him multiple times. A couple hours went by, and I felt better again. He called me back just a minute ago from his parents' home phone. I picked up because I didn't know who it was. He was talking like normal, with affection - I guess it was the cold that did it. He said he wanted to make sure I was alright. I said I was fine. It was a quick, couple minute conversation. I was torn between wanting to say so many things, and wanting to say nothing.

His mom and sister in England reached out to me. His mom went through a divorce with his dad at the 6 year mark as well (though he left her for another woman) - she thinks he has a case of the "male crazies" just like his dad. I suspect that his dad is playing some part in all of this, maybe indirectly, maybe over the entirety of our years together. His dad asked M, when we had been together 1 year, whether he didn't want to be with someone in his own field. And here he's decided that yes... he sure does.

I studied a little bit yesterday. But not enough. And I haven't been working. My mom keeps texting me with commands to "study!!!!" but I don't feel motivated in the slightest bit. I know I just need to find the strength within myself. But is it ok if I'm not strong for at least the rest of the week?

Heart-broken

2011-01-01T15:27:00.000-08:00

M, my boyfriend of 6+ years, who I've been living with for 5 years, broke up with me yesterday. He said it was because of a number of factors, but mainly that he just wanted "someone new." He said he felt he was being presented with two choices, either marry me and feel resentment over the "what ifs" or leave me and explore those "what ifs." He also wants alone time, wants to find himself, wants to not to be with the same person the entirety of his 20s, wants someone who feels good about themselves no matter what they look like (I don't feel good when I don't shower... is that a crime?!), wants someone who will collaborate with him on programming projects... BUT he wants me to know he still loves me. (Great!)

This is all a rehash of a conversation I vaguely mentioned last year. I thought we had discussed and resolved most of the issues he brought up, but I guess not. And I guess you can't really work through a "nagging feeling at the back of [his] mind for someone new."

I was with my last boyfriend for about 2 1/2 years, we weren't living together, I wasn't fond of his family, and our relationship was very much done by the time we broke up. And I still cried for days, was depressed for weeks.

This is a whole other situation. I'm close with his family, he's close with mine. My little sister adores him. Everything in the house is ours, everything bears each other's mark. He engraved all my electronics. We have pictures everywhere. He doesn't understand why reminders of us are painful to me. He said it should be reminders of the good times we had. I don't know what to say to that.

He's going to be moving out in the next couple days, probably with his family. He said I can keep whatever I want in the apartment. He also said he would continue paying the rent until the lease expires in June. That's good of him, I guess. It's clear he wants to remain my friend. I'd like that too... I think? I don't know what I need to do to get over him. The thought of being in this apartment alone every day and night brings me to tears. I wish my family lived in my city and not an hour away. I wish I had friends down the street. But I don't.

So I'm feeling a lot of anguish. I know it's probably normal. I just really felt like he was the one I was going to be with for the foreseeable future. I know I took some things for granted. We fell into a rut. I wonder what I should or could have done differently. Or maybe he would have felt he wanted "variety" no matter what I did.

I went to my friend's party last night. She kept telling me he would "come around and apologize." I asked him if he was thinking about coming back (or trying to come back) after he's had his alone time/variety. He said he didn't know, but that he didn't want me to think about it. I probably shouldn't have even brought it up; there are things I've said that have made me feel pathetic. But honestly I don't know what the best things to say or do at this point would be.

I really appreciate all the kind words on Twitter. It's been comforting. But I'm so very sad. And I need to pull myself together so I can study for the bar. I don't know what to do...

2011 Goals

2010-12-27T23:45:00.000-08:00

Pass the bar.
Get a good job, whether that's as an attorney or something else.
Save $10,000 in my emergency fund.
Pay off at least 20% of my debt.
Lose at least 8 lbs - weigh-in at 140!

Happy Holidays!

2010-12-22T13:47:00.000-08:00

I have a million things to take take care of by Thursday afternoon, which will be followed by 3 straight days of family and friends. I'm really looking forward to passing out presents this year!! Well, I look forward to it every year. ;)

So I'll bid you all adieu for now. Hope you have the merriest of Christmases and the happiest of holidays!

My Current Situation

2010-12-21T00:06:00.000-08:00

I was asked by a commenter to share my current budget. As some of you may know, I don't really have one right now. I'll expand on that below.

The same person also left a comment on my outfit blog insinuating that I was "not on board with becoming debt-free" (if my clothes were new, as she seems to suspect they are). I responded there, but I'll restate it here: the blog's title is Shopping My Closet. The point was to do just that - shop my closet, aka assemble outfits from clothes that I currently own. That said, I do still buy clothes now and again, with my own cash (i.e. when I return/sell an older item).

On to my lack of a budget. I've mentioned this before, and I'll mention it again. I'm with a really great guy (aka M). He has zero debt, he makes a lot of money, and he has a lot of savings. We've been together a long time, and half of that time saw us splitting all expenses down the middle. I quit my full-time job about 2 years ago to focus on school, and he started paying for all our food expenses. I graduated from law school earlier this year, couldn't find a job, and ran out of loan funds. Since then, approximately 5 months ago, he's been paying for our rent, our food, and giving me $1200 a month to use on whatever I deem necessary. If I have a particularly large expense that causes me to run out of money, he gives me more. I make minimum payments on all my credit cards, I go out to eat with my mom and my friends, I pay for medical bills, medication, gas, what have you. Yeah, that's right, I'm only making minimum payments on my credit cards. And I go out to eat with friends and family.

But that doesn't mean I don't want to be debt-free.

It means that at this point in time, my debt problems are on the back burner. My goals right now are to pass the bar and to improve my health and happiness. M is completely supportive of those goals and the way I've been using his money.

As for my new job (or ebay sales), most of that money will be going into my emergency fund. I won't be throwing any money at my debt until I get a full-time job again. If someone has a problem with that, then please stop reading. :)

Even Better

2010-12-18T15:55:00.001-08:00

I found out I'm not considered an independent contractor at work; I'm a temporary part-time employee. So they deduct taxes, and I don't have to worry about whether or not to pay the city's business tax. It doesn't make that much of a difference, but I'm still kind of pleased about it.

My first paycheck was about $371 (for about 40 hours of work)... $170ish will be going towards my share of M's last Christmas present (his dad, stepmom and I are splitting the cost of the new Google phone). I think I'll put $100 in my emergency fund.

I should get about $730 on the 31st. Paychecks beyond that will be less, because I'm cutting back my hours to coincide with bar study (which actually starts today... but I'm going to try to still work 40 hrs next week). I'll figure out next week approximately how much I should be making over the next couple months, and how much I can sock away.

Hooray for monies. :)

Busy bee

2010-12-13T00:00:00.000-08:00

I've finished my first week of work, and am just getting over something I initially feared was strep (symptoms were just right - sore throat + headache + fever!)... but instead seems to just be a mild cold (3 day recovery & no stuffy nose = win!). I'd like to think all the exercising I've been doing shortened my symptoms, but maybe I just got lucky.

I'm really looking forward to my first paycheck on Friday. It's just in time for my birthday weekend, and I might pick up a little present for myself... er, but first I'll be putting some away in savings, like a good lil' pf blogger. I'm not exactly sure how much I'll be getting; I'm unaware of payday cut-offs. But I'll either get paid for just this week (~$410) or both weeks (~$810). Either way, it'll be a great addition to my bank account.

I haven't decided what to do for my bday. A lot of people want to get together and it's making me feel a teensy bit overwhelmed. It'd probably made sense to do a dinner party, but I don't know if I feel like it. I'd be happy with just a quiet dinner out with M.

Christmas week will be split between three families - my dad, my mom/sis/gram and M's family. His family gets Christmas day, my mom and co. get Christmas eve, and my dad gets the eve of Christmas eve. I'll also be starting bar study that week. No fun! But the sooner the better, I guess.

How is the rest of your December shaping up?

December Goals

2010-12-04T10:39:00.000-08:00

Goals from 12/1 - 12/20

Exercise daily (with breaks depending on how my body feels).
~~Finish and mail out Christmas cards. We have cards going to the UK, so it's important we get these out ASAP!!~~ Done!
~~Wrap Christmas and Birthday presents. We're about 95% done with Bday/Christmas shopping. I want to get everything wrapped and ready so the day before can be devoted to just searching for and wrapping 1 or 2 presents! :p~~ Done! All wrapped by me, I might add. :p
Sell on eBay and Craig's List. I moved this farther up on the priority list because it needs to get done.
Work 40 hours a week.
Enjoy my birthday! I'm 27 this month! I'd like to go to Disneyland or do a wine tour in the Napa Valley! But a fancy dinner out would be nice too :)
Read. I want to finish Air and Rebecca... so I can then give them as parts of Christmas presents!
Keep apartment clean. Includes ~~monthly washing of sheets~~ (done), monthly scrub down of entire house, weekly vacuuming, and bi-weekly dish cleaning.
Do more cooking. I'd like to have dinner cooked at home at least 4 nights a week.

Goals from 12/21-12/31

Begin Bar Study, Round 2. This begins on December 21st. I need to devote myself to this.
Work 20-30 hrs a week.
Continue Exercising daily.

I think I forgot to do November goals, so I'll have to take a look at how my October goals fared!

Find a job. PASS! I found something to take me through my 2nd round of bar study.
Exercise daily. PASS! I am going to the gym daily during the week (except when my knees bother me), playing tennis a couple nights a week, and doing yoga once or twice a week.
Write. FAIL! Other than writing for the blog, and a half-hearted attempt at NaNoWriMo, I have failed to do any writing. :( Can I pretend NaNoWriMo is actually NaDeWriMo?? ;)
Read. PASS/FAIL. I finished The Unbearable Lightness of Being in October. I think I did read something in November, but I can't remember what!
Keep apartment clean. PASS/FAIL. The sheets were washed at the beginning of the month, and I did scrub the apt, but I can't remember when. :p The apt is currently in a state of disarray with Christmas presents everywhere, so I feel like I can't give myself a pass!
Go to ENT. FAIL! But, that's ok, because I need to push this to January, when M's insurance goes into effect.
Do more cooking. PASS/FAIL. M and I had an argument about this after I declared to his parents that we were cooking about 4 times/wk (they asked "are you cooking more?" Why they asked that, I have no clue). M thinks it's 1-2 times/wk at most. I'll have to keep better track of this. Good thing I'm tracking what I eat on my other blog! :p
Sell on eBay and Craig's List. FAIL! This is an important goal for this month.

New Job

2010-12-01T14:09:00.001-08:00

I got a job! Not the one I was talking about in my previous post. Although this one pays much less, it's very flexible, and that's what I'm going to need while I'm studying for the February bar.

I'll be working for an online company that provides legal content to law students, firms, and search engines. I'll basically be doing summaries of case law/trial video. It's entirely from home, and I can work up to 40 hours/week. There are some time sensitive projects, but mostly I set up my own schedule. It's $10/hr (gulp! but... better than nothing!). It was advertised as a temporary position (up to 9 months), but that's perfect, because I'll (hopefully!!) be a licensed attorney by then and securing an associate position. Or maybe something else will open up in this company! They seem to be doing very well.

I said I would work 40 hrs/wk until I start bar study (December 21st), at which point I'll drop down to 20 or 30. She said I can do less if I feel stressed out.

I'll be considered an independent contractor, so I'll have to remember to set aside some money for taxes. I got dinged last year for not registering my "business" with the city (I was clerking at a firm and considered an independent contractor; though I really wasn't! But anyway :p). Since this is online-only, I'm not sure if this needs to be registered. I need to look into that.

I also don't know if I need to inform Sallie Mae that I have a job. Since I'll be making so little money, I think I won't need to pay anything towards my loans under IBR. So in that respect, it won't make a difference. I also know that they don't consider me employed if I work under 30 hrs a week. So if I'm working half a month of full-time and half a month of part-time, what does that make me? Half-employed? :p

I'm happy about the job, but I feel like I can't really celebrate because I'm making so little. I'm a little... ashamed. I was supposed to be M's sugar mama! :p He put up with all my frustration and anxiety during law school, and I come out making less than I made my first year of college. I appreciate all the congrats and I'm really happy to have something, especially something that works with bar study. But it's still all a bit depressing. But it's ok... I have chocolate chip cookies. ;)

Interview

2010-11-29T14:11:00.001-08:00

I have an interview later this week (a group interview - oh joy). The job was advertised as an "attorney" position, but the email confirmation re-titled it a "case specialist." Not quite sure what to make of that. Maybe you get a promotion after a certain period of time?

The interview was set up before I received my bar results. I was unsure whether or not to tell the company ahead of time. I consulted with the career counselor from my law school, and she advised me not to say anything. But it's a potential strike against me.

The job is about 15 miles away and stretches over a high-traffic area. I don't know how much it pays; if I had to guess, I would say between 40-45k. It would be full-time, and it's not an area I'm interested in. And technically I should be studying for the bar full-time come mid-December. I suppose what I really need is a part-time law clerk position. But I feel like I should still go to the interview. It'll be an experience, if nothing else.

Has anyone else out there tried to work full-time and study for the bar... and passed?

(Belated) Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-27T00:07:00.000-08:00

I meant to post this on Wednesday night, but the time just got away from me... So here's a belated Happy Thanksgiving to those that celebrate it, and a belated happy Thursday to those who don't. ;)

M and I attended 2 Thanksgiving meals - 1 with my family and 1 with his. And we played lots of Taboo and Scattergories. We had a really nice day.

Today was more of the same. :) Once upon a time, I did force myself to wake up for Black Friday sales, but the last couple years, nothing aside from an emergency can make me open my eyes before 9. We ended up stretching our sleepy time til 11, then perusing the web for sales (the $50 discount on the iPad was the only one that caught my eye)... But we did venture out in the afternoon to wander around the malls. And I turned out to be a very very lucky girl... M bought me a gorgeous bday/Christmas present that I've been drooling over forever!!

Anyway, hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!

Bar Results

2010-11-20T20:42:00.000-08:00

Over the past few months, I've confessed to M, my friends and my parents that there was a 98% chance that I wouldn't pass. I didn't study enough. In fact, I hardly studied at all.

I was feeling really burned out even before graduation. I wanted time off, but felt like I couldn't have it - I had to take the bar in July, along with everyone else. I was already sabotaging myself the first week. I skipped the first day of bar review so I could recuperate from graduation weekend, and the next day I came down with the flu. After that, I decided to do the bar review course online only. I watched the lectures on and off. And then I stopped watching them altogether. I didn't take any practice tests. I was basically screwing myself. But honestly? I knew that and didn't care.

It was a waste of $3000 - the cost of the bar review course plus bar fees. And for that, I feel terrible. It's also embarrassing to be the only one among my group of law school friends who didn't pass. At least, I guess, I won't be losing a job over it. I did have a fun summer. And I'm now fully over the burn-out and ready 100% to tackle the February bar.

I'm lucky to have a very supportive group of family and friends. I'm not proud of myself. But I've heard nothing but encouragement. In February, I don't intend to let anybody down.

Home Phone

2010-11-15T15:15:00.000-08:00

I mentioned before that our apartment complex installed gates and were only allowing landlines to be connected to the intercom. We, like most people, don't have a landline. So we questioned the rule repeatedly, and ultimately asked to either be allowed to use a cell phone or be reimbursed $21/month (which is the cheapest home phone service I could find). We received a response a couple days ago - an unfavorable one. I talked to M and we decided reluctantly to go ahead and get a landline.

I wasn't happy with the $21/month offered by Verizon. (And it was actually more like $39 if I had gotten an unlisted number, caller ID, and service that wasn't pay-per-minute) I tried to negotiate with them but didn't get very far. So I tried our internet service provider. They were offering digital phone only for something like $44 a month online. I first tried an online chat. The rep informed me that she couldn't authorize any discounts, so I had to call in. (what's with that?) Over the phone, the rep quoted me $80/mo for internet plus phone. I told her I was considering going with Verizon, and emphasized that we had been loyal customers for several years. I asked if $80 was really the best deal she could offer me. She agreed to look into it.

What she ended up doing was giving me a better deal on internet, so the total package came to $70/mo. We were paying about $58 just for internet, so that makes the phone $11. That price includes unlimited calling in California and caller ID.

I'm kind of pleased about the whole thing now, because, truth be told, I get terrible reception in our apartment. I'll wait to make calls until I'm at the gym or grocery store so I don't have to deal with people constantly telling me "you're cutting out." Since M's reception is crystal clear, it wasn't worth paying $30+/mo, but for $11? Yeah. It'll make my life a little easier. :)

Closet Cull 2010, Part 2

2010-11-10T13:38:00.000-08:00

This is a continuation of my previous post, and inspired by Red. I'm examining my closet's contents and selling or trading the clothes that don't fit me or I don't care to wear again.

Part 2 is all about the tops. I organize my closet by color, so I'll be posting my cast-offs by color here too.

And hey... if anyone spots something they like, shoot me an email and I'll give you a great deal. ;)

Blacks

Purples

Blues

Greens & Yellows

Domestic Partnership

2010-11-08T16:44:00.000-08:00

M's work started offering domestic partnership benefits to opposite sex couples - just in time for open enrollment! This will give me access to a health & dental PPO that's much better than the one I have now, plus vision benefits. ~~And I can use M's flex spending account for co-pays and prescriptions (among other things)~~. Unfortunately, he found out that I can't use it. :(

My only question is... do I need to do anything to ensure a smooth transition from my insurance to his? It's the same provider, just a different plan. I'm paid up until the 1st of December. We're planning to turn in the domestic partnership affidavit by the end of the week (we're waiting on a letter from our bank). Do I need to inform the provider that this is happening?

Is anybody else out there getting domestic partnership benefits? I read in an article that it's mostly opposite sex couples that take advantage of them. I wonder why?

Apartment Annoyance

2010-11-04T14:38:00.000-07:00

The management company in our apartment decided to install gates over our front door and driveway. We've had 1 or 2 people rummaging through the trash before, so I think it's an okay idea (though not necessary). But the BAD idea is that the gate intercom has to be tied to a landline.

Everyone in the building received a letter a few days after they began work on the gates. The letter stated that "for security reasons" cell phones would not be tied to the intercom system. M and I, like most people, use cell phones only. I complained to our building manager and she said that she and her husband had to get a landline too. I pushed some more and she said she would talk to our property manager and assess the "consensus in the building." We have some older people here, but there's no way that the majority of people have a landline. But the building manager sent me a follow-up email and flatly stated that landlines were required if we wanted to use the gate intercom. My feeling is that lack of landlines in the building was ignored at the property manager's say-so.

M and I researched landline options. The company through which we have internet offers digital home phone only for almost $45 a month! The cheapest I could find was $21, and that's not counting any add-ons (like the virtually mandatory unlisted fee).

M thinks we should ask them to lower our rent to take into account the landline cost. I am really pissed off at this whole situation, but I don't know how hard I want to fight this.

What would you do?

Closet Cull 2010, Part 1

2010-11-03T20:25:00.000-07:00

I'm participating in Red's experiment - I'm examining my closet's contents and selling or trading the clothes that don't fit me or I don't care to wear again. In the past I've donated (just 6 months ago I dropped off a large bag), but I'd like to get some of my money back for these particular clothes... I also might trade a few for other clothes. (My friend's having a potluck/crafting/clothes swapping party in a few weeks.)

I have a walk-in closet that I share with M, as well as two drawers for my workout clothes, a drawer for my winter accessories, a drawer for night clothes and tank tops, and a drawer for lingerie.

Here's my closet (the pic on the right is actually the left side of my closet, where I keep suits, jeans and dresses. Underneath the clothes on the pic on the left are 2 double hang closet rods... that's where I hang jackets, cardigans, shorts and skirts):

Here's the first item I'm thinking of getting rid of (returning to Anthro, to be more precise)... I'm undecided. (I keep all the tags on my clothes before I'm 100% sure about them. This one I've had for about 6 months and haven't been able to wear because it's been too hot) Do you think I look like a clown? (Oh yeah, and please excuse my gym clothes! ;P)

Next are dresses that need to go. I'm undecided about the white and blue ones on the left (need to try them on). The polka dotted dress is see-through, the teal dresses fit me 10 lbs and 10 yrs ago, and the long sleeved blue dress is dowdy.

Finally, we have my maxi dress and a dress I wore to a wedding reception 5 years ago. The maxi dress could be wearable if it was altered (it needs to be shortened and front needs to be stitched closed). Is it worth it? It is a prettier purple in person. I need to try on the dress on the right, but it's giving off a "blah" vibe to me.

Stay tuned for part 2, when I tackle my tops... ;)

Proofreading and Editing Business

2010-11-03T14:00:00.001-07:00

My friend and I launched an online proofreading and editing business a couple days ago, called Engrish to English!

We've both mentioned the biz on facebook, we've created a facebook page, and I've tweeted about it. I was also planning to post some ads at local schools. Serendipity suggested posting an ad on Craig's List. Any other ideas? I want this to go somewhere! :)

We're offering free proofreading for documents up to 2 pages until November 15th. Any takers? ;)

National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo)

2010-11-01T18:34:00.000-07:00

NaNoWriMo is going on this month... The site describes it as "a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to novel writing." You (ideally) write a 50k word novel in 30 days - from November 1st to the 30th.

I first heard about it last year (probably from Crystal), and signed up, but then never wrote anything. This year is gonna be different! :)

This article details five reasons why you should participate. I dig #5... my novel is hiding in me, and I must find it! Even if it's the crappiest of all the crappy novels! ;)

My username is astral. Last year I tried to sign up as sunflowers, and ended up misspelling it and being "sunflowes." ha! So I went with something shorter... a character name from one of my childhood stories. Let me know if you're participating and we can be writing buddies!

November Goals

2010-11-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

Find a job. I'm starting to sound like a broken record with this one. :P
Exercise daily. I go to the gym at least 4 times/week, but I need to start doing yoga again.
Write. NaNoWriMo is this month. Hopefully I can still get involved!
Read. I finished The Unbearable Lightness of Being last month. I haven't decided what to move on to this month. Any suggestions?
Continue keeping apartment clean & cooking at least 4x/week. Includes monthly washing of sheets, monthly scrub down of entire house, weekly vacuuming, and bi-weekly dish cleaning.
Go to ENT. Ear, nose & throat dr - just for my annual ear cleaning.
Do blood test and visit endocrinologist for follow-up. I'm hoping that my TSH level is finally normal, and that we can get my Synthroid dosage stabilized.
Sell on eBay and Craig's List. I still have a pile of stuff sitting next to me that I haven't sold.
Promote my business website. I mentioned on twitter that I started up an online proofreading/editing biz with my friend. I'd like to have it actually go somewhere, so I need to figure out my promotion strategy.
Start thinking about Christmas gifts. M and I have a list started in google docs. His entire family has bdays in December, so that's something we need to think about as well.

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-31T14:04:00.001-07:00

Halloween is one of my favorite holidays! I loved trick or treating as a kid - I wish I could still do it!

I was kind of a bore this year though. I put up decorations, but that was about it. The costume I wanted sold out, so I didn't go to any parties or events. :( I'm trying to drag M to see Paranormal Activity 2 tonight (for those who've seen it - did you like it?).

I'm already looking forward to next year! Maybe I can throw my own party. And buy my costume months in advance. ;)

IBR Update

2010-10-28T00:43:00.000-07:00

Here is a post I did on what IBR is, and here was my last issue with signing up for it.

I ended up calling Sallie Mae a couple weeks ago and telling them I wanted all deferments ended, so that IBR could be processed on all my student loans. They complied, but then said I had to apply for IBR all over again. I did, except this time I sent in my tax return instead of form 4506-t (which lets SM access my tax returns at the IRS). I originally had sent 4506-t because I e-filed, and thus didn't have a signed copy of my return. The rep encouraged me to send in the return instead of 4506-t because the processing would be faster, and told me that they didn't need a "wet" signature and just to send in the confirmation page. That's proved to be a problem.

What I sent in was a copy of my status as provided by TaxAct (showing that my return was accepted by the IRS). SM didn't like that and sent me a letter stating that I needed to send in a signed tax return or, if I e-filed, the "signed confirmation page." I called SM again, asking them if I could just sign my tax return and send it in. They reiterated I should send this signed confirmation page, which was defined as the page where I put in my pin. I vaguely remember that page, but there was no reason to print it out. So I went to TaxAct for help. They basically said SM was stupid, and that what I had provided should have been more than good enough. "It would be more than you would get it if you had paper-filed," they said. They also said that the pin entering page was irretrievable.

So what did I do? I just signed the tax return. I should have done it to begin with, but I was being silly. I thought, "oh, since I e-filed, there won't be a signature block."

So I did that, except now I haven't heard from SM. They just sent me a round of e-mails, but not a word about the IBR. So I guess I'll have to call them again. Great.

Why does this have to be such a hassle?

Win a Copy of Quicken

2010-10-25T13:06:00.001-07:00

Krystal from Give Me Back My Five Bucks is running a Quicken contest, open to US and Canadian readers. She has 4 copies to give away, so the odds aren't bad!

Go here for more details. The contest ends on October 31st.

Good luck to everyone (and especially good luck to me! haha).

Justification

2010-10-19T15:09:00.000-07:00

I didn't go to the interview yesterday. Mostly it was the commute and salary. It was also located in a bad area. I likely wouldn't have been able to negotiate a title change. And the area of law is very specialized, and not something I'd be interested in doing long-term. So that's that.

Jenna commented on my previous post that it took her friend a year to find an attorney job, and that job was 6 hours away from her family. I really hope it doesn't take me a year to find a job (I'll start my own firm or go back to working as a biglaw legal assistant first), but even if it did, I wouldn't consider making a move like that. Because, you know, I'm not single (like I assume Jenna's friend is). My career is still very important to me, but so is my happiness. And it's also very important to M, as evidenced by the fact that he strongly discouraged me to go to the interview yesterday and explicitly "forbade" me to take the job. (I thought that was sweet; he knows he can't really forbid me from doing anything, but he wants to make sure I know he doesn't expect me to take a crappy job in lieu of his support)

I think December 1st is my d-day. If I haven't found anything by then, and I haven't passed the bar, I'll go crawling back to my friends from biglaw and see if they'll hire me back as a legal assistant (hello 3 mile commute and 55k salary!). If I have passed the bar, I'll start looking into opening a firm with my friend.

Until then, I'm going to continue to think positive, be productive, be appreciate of my lovely guy, and enjoy my bountiful free time. :)

Pros and Cons

2010-10-14T22:36:00.000-07:00

I went in for part one of a job interview today. Part one consisted of (a) being unable to find the organization's entrance (it was hidden!!); (b) trying to call the org's number and hearing a message to "call back within business hours, M-F 8-5" (it was early afternoon!); (c) finding the lobby and then sitting around sticking out like a sore thumb (this org helps the poor and I was wearing a Theory suit and full make-up); (c) sitting in aforementioned lobby for 30 minutes because no one was at the front desk and no one answered when I knocked on the door; (d) feeling relieved when someone opened the door, only to be puzzled by the fact that she didn't know the HR person when I mentioned her by name, and that she asked me "are you looking for someone in [org]?" (Why yes, yes I am. That's why I'm here); (e) being taken up to a room with a busted chair when the HR person finally did come out (and nearly toppling to the floor because of it); (f) taking a one hour written test; and (g) finding out that the job was not actually in this building, it was in a building much farther away (13 miles from my apartment vs. 30 miles. they couldn't have put that in the listing?!).

Because of the location and the low pay (max 47k), M thinks I shouldn't even go to the interview. He thinks I "definitely shouldn't" take the job, and that interviewing would be a waste of time for me and them. I haven't totally decided yet. eemusings and Serendipity suggested I do a pros and cons list. So here we go. :)

Pros

Intrinsically rewarding. Job involves helping poor people in a variety of ways.
Any job is better than no job.
Claims to include excellent benefits. I won't know if that's really the case until I interview.
Close the gap. The gap in my resume has been widening ever since I took the bar.
More litigation experience. Experience representing clients at hearings.

Cons

Traffic and Gas Money. I would likely be sitting in traffic for 3 hrs/day, round trip. It would cost $7.37/day or $221/month in gas (I figured that out using Drive Pricing).
Job title. I would be a Paralegal, rather than a Law Clerk or Associate. But I may be able to convince them down the line to either let me put Law Clerk on my resume, or - once I've passed the bar - be promoted to Attorney.
Salary. My understanding is that the only reason this position exists is because of a grant. The max they have available is 47k, so there's no negotiating beyond that. This is 10k less than I made as a legal assistant!!! ack.
No more free time. Right now I take & pick up M from work daily, I've started cooking a couple times a week, I do the dishes everyday, I see my parents weekly, I exercise daily, I read books, I play games, I write stories-- yeah, scratch that last one. :p But I could. And being busy from 6am-7:30pm every day is going to take that all away. Is this job worth having that all taken away?
The Bar. If I don't pass, I'm going to need to retake it in February. And I'm going to have to study from December-February. Maybe I need to not get a job (well, unless it's a great opportunity) until I know how I did.
Stress. I imagine the job is emotionally draining and high-stress. Mentally ill and/or very low-income clients with very sad stories. An org that is under-funded and over-taxed.

Can you guys think of anything else to add? Any readers who have a long commute and comparable pay? What made you decide to take the job (aside from necessity)?

Sallie Mae Woes

2010-10-11T13:21:00.000-07:00

I mentioned that I signed up for IBR a little over a week ago. I also mentioned I signed up for an unemployment deferment. And that kinda screwed things up.

I got several letters from SM last week. The first one said I needed to send in paystubs for them to process the IBR. I called them and told them I hadn't worked since December of last year. They said to send in the paystubs from then (which is nonsensical to me since I provided them access to my last four years of tax returns, but whatever).

I had been logged out due to inactivity while I was on the phone. When I logged back in, I noticed that the previous letter was gone, and instead I had a letter denying IBR on the basis that some of my loans were in grace or deferment, and they usually process IBR for all the loans at once. I also had 1 letter denying my unemployment deferment and 2 letters approving it. The denial was for the only loan currently in repayment (the only one for which I wanted the deferment!! Denied because it's a private loan. damn). The approvals were for 3 loans that aren't due until December 1st. They were pushed to March of next year. I have other loans due December 1st, but for some reason they didn't get processed for the deferment.

So now I'm not sure what to do. The IBR denial letter said I could designate specific loans (the ones not deferred or in grace) to be processed under IBR. I have been typing up a letter in which I request that the deferments be canceled, and for all my eligible loans to be processed under IBR. I don't really think there's a benefit to having some loans in deferment, and some under IBR.

This is making me feel a bit overwhelmed... Consolidation might make things easier, but I'll lose out on the interest discounts I've been offered. I think not consolidating will be cheaper in the long run.

Any advice would be appreciated!

October Goals

2010-10-04T13:53:00.001-07:00

Find a job.
Exercise daily.
Write.
Read. Currently reading (and being annoyed by) The Unbearable Lightness of Being.
Keep apartment clean. Includes monthly washing of sheets, monthly scrub down of entire house, weekly vacuuming, and bi-weekly dish cleaning.
Go to ENT. Ear, nose & throat dr - just for my annual ear cleaning.
Do more cooking. I'd like to have dinner cooked at home at least 4 nights a week.
Sell on eBay and Craig's List. I still have a pile of stuff sitting next to me that I haven't sold.

Goal number 1 remains my top priority. But goal 8 has been lingering for a few months - need to take care of it! Then I can make some major progress on my credit cards.

Income Based Repayment Plan

2010-09-30T21:03:00.000-07:00

Aware that the bulk of my student loans are due in 2 months, I finally sat down yesterday and took a hard look at all of them. I made a chart listing each loan provider, loan number, with monthly payments, interest rates, due dates, repayment plans and current principal balances.

I then totaled all of my monthly payments. On the standard repayment plan, I would have owed, come December 1st, over $2000 per month (!!!). I knew it was going to be a lot, but not THAT much. So I looked into ways to reduce my monthly fee.

I found out that back in July '09, President Obama introduced something called the income based repayment plan. According to Federal Student Aid, "Income Based Repayment (IBR) is one of several repayment plan options for borrowers of student loans made under the William D. Ford Federal Direct Loan (Direct Loan) Program or the Federal Family Education Loan (FFELSM) Program. If you qualify for IBR, your required monthly payment will be capped at an amount that is intended to be affordable based on your income and family size, and will be less than what you would have to pay under a 10-year Standard Repayment Plan."

In order to sign up for IBR, you have to have a "partial financial hardship." You satisfy the requirement if the amount you would have to pay under a standard repayment plan is higher than the amount you would pay under IBR. They determine the monthly amount you pay under IBR by (1) subtracting 150 percent of the poverty guideline (view it here) from your adjusted gross income, (2) taking 15% of that difference, and (3) dividing the resulting number by 12.

Doing the math for myself, 150% of the poverty guideline for a family of 1 would be $16,245. If my AGI was $50,000, the difference would be $33,755. 15% of that would be $5063. Divided by 12, the monthly payment would be about $421. A long way off from $2000!

It doesn't apply to private loans, so I have 1 loan that's exempt. But I'm applying for an unemployment deferment (it's a loan from undergrad, and has already been in repayment for a couple months). Something else interesting is after 25 years of repayment under IBR your remaining loan balances are canceled (but unfortunately charged to you as taxable income).

I found all the necessary forms on Sallie Mae's website. It's recommended that you send in your paperwork at least 2 months before the end of your grace period (I sent it out just in time!). Here's some more info about how to sign up. And here's a detailed Q&A from the Department of Education.

Is anyone else considering (or signed up for) IBR?

Planning for the Future

2010-09-20T11:19:00.001-07:00

M and I were talking about money the other day, and he told me that he's breaking even every month. Well, sort of. Four times a year he gets a bonus, and in total that increases his savings by $70k. His savings currently stands at 100k. But he has $5k in his checking account and that doesn't change. So that means he and I are spending approximately $5500 a month. I found that kind of alarming. He has no debt, so that's all outright spending. $1200 of that is all me. $1127 is our rent. So a little more than $3000 is spent on utilities, food and entertainment. He said he would check to see exactly how much we spend on food, but I'm hoping we can cut it down significantly.

I've been watching houses in our area on Redfin and the cheapest I've seen have been between $600-700k. A few miles east, and prices drop to $400-500k. I hope those prices will hold (or drop) in the next 2-3 years, because we talked about it, and we'd like to buy a house in 2012 or 2013. In 3 years, M will have 310k saved up. (How much I'll have is unknowable, except I know it won't be comparable!)

I think we'll definitely be moving in with his parents to their new house next June. They built an apartment-like second floor with a separate entrance, with either us or M's sisters in mind. The sisters will be away at college for another few years, so desire to have the place won't conflict. (His parents also specifically asked us a few months ago if we wanted to move in) And that'll be a savings of $1127/month for 1-2 years (for a total savings of $13k-$27k).

M wants to quit his job and start his own video game company in a few years. I'll need to be able to support us by then.

In the short-term, I need to find a job, ANY job, and start aggressively paying off my credit cards. I may have to accept something as low as $50k (or even lower, if worse comes to worst). I'd like to have the credit card bills paid off, and M paid back, before we buy a house. The student loans are another matter. I think I just need to accept that they're going to be hanging around for a long, long time.

Acting Parent

2010-09-15T18:59:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I'm the acting parent right now. Why? Because my mom has turned into an irrational, unreasonable human being.

Tell me if I'm wrong here. She doesn't carry health insurance for herself or my little sister. She previously didn't carry car insurance (that changed, because I set it up and am paying for it). She felt neither were necessary. Does anyone else believe that health insurance (not to mention car insurance) absolutely, definitely is necessary?!

She is over 50. She argues that she hasn't needed a doctor in the past 10 years. But as she gets older, the risk increases. She has knee problems. She's had problems with her weight. My grandmother and I both have hypothyroidism. There's a likelihood she has it too. She claims she's "very healthy." But how would she know that, not having been to the doctor in 10 years? She also claims that there's a "homeopathic remedy for everything." I asked her, what's the homeopathic remedy if you break your leg?

Her only income is my dad's spousal support because she hasn't been able to find a job. So she's low-income. I looked into insurance plans and found that she could apply for low-cost Medi-Cal for my sister. She doesn't even want to consider it. She doesn't like the idea of "going into the system."

This is driving me crazy because I know that if anything happens to her or my sister, M and I will be responsible financially. She has always come to us. She doesn't have anyone else. Yet she insists that that won't happen. As if all the other times never happened?!

M thinks we should get insurance for them. But as I'm unemployed, it would be him paying $300 per month insurance for my mother and sister. The thought of that makes me so angry that I want to shake her. Especially since that number could be reduced by $60 if my mom signed my sister up for Medi-Cal.

She won't listen to reason. I'm baffled. Her stubbornness and irrationality have gotten much worse from when I was younger. Maybe that's just her reaction to my pushing her. She and I have not gotten along for many years now. Well, I have not gotten along with her. She tries to be the nicest person alive, but I have so much resentment built up, I get angry just hearing her voice, seeing her face. For years, I've been supporting her in one way or another. And since I quit working full-time, that responsibility has passed to my boyfriend. That makes me wonder why he even stays with me. Not only am I debt-laden, I have her as baggage too?!

How do you make someone go to the doctor? How do you make someone do what's best for them? Are there others out there who agree with her, that health insurance is not necessary?

What should I do here?

Month 2 of the Job Hunt

2010-09-15T12:02:00.000-07:00

It's actually been a month and a half since the bar, since I've been actively looking for a law clerk or attorney job. But only 2 weeks until we move into month 2 of my search.

There have only been 2 jobs I've been excited about, and neither of them called me back. I still have only had 2 interviews.

(I feel like I'm on Sesame Street and 2 is the number of the day :P)

My friend approached me about the possibility of starting up a law firm together. But it's not a right away thing; we find out if we pass the bar at the end of November, and if we don't, it'll be a re-try in February and another long wait until mid 2011. I don't know how much money that would require up front. It would require a lot more research on both our parts. I imagine we wouldn't really be making any money for a few years. And both of us have hefty loans.

I've been trying not to feel depressed, but it's getting more difficult to stave it off. I feel no desire to leave the apartment during the week. Or clean the apartment. Or do anything productive (other than look for jobs). I haven't been to the gym since before I had food poisoning.

Probably some human contact would cheer me up, but everyone I know is working during the week. My law school friends all fell back on the jobs they kept throughout school or had before school started - mostly jobs that have nothing to do with law.

I need someone to give me a swift kick in the pants. I need to use the time I have wisely, instead of feeling sorry for myself. I need to go to yoga more, so I can administer that kick in the pants to myself! ;)

Sense of Scale iPhone App Giveaway!

2010-09-08T00:12:00.000-07:00

I've been raving about this app on twitter today. It was made by someone I know, but it's also really fun! :) It's a game that tests whether you can correctly scale objects given surrounding clues. It's for the iPhone, the iPad, or the iPod Touch!

(Am I the only one loving that fat dog pic in the middle? It makes me 'LOL' everytime I see it!)

And now I have two codes to give away! The first two people to comment get a code. My only requirement is that after you play the game, you leave an honest review.

Hope you like it! :)

September Goals

2010-08-31T20:55:00.000-07:00

Find a job.
Exercise daily.
Write.
Read.
Make household work-ready. I need to remember to wash the sheets.
~~Go to the dentist. Made an appointment for tomorrow.~~ Cleaning went well, no cavities. I'm going back in 4 months for another cleaning, and then will switch to every 6 months.
~~Apply for IBR through Sallie Mae~~. This is Income Based Repayment. From what I understand at this site, if I'm not making anything, I'm only responsible for the monthly accrued interest.
~~Get eyebrows done~~
~~Get gel nails removed~~. I haven't decided if I'm going to do the gel thing again. I need to first see the state of my nails when the gel is soaked off.
~~Call endocrinologist re: test results. I had my third blood test last week. Hoping that my TSH levels are finally normal.~~ My levels are still a little high, so now I'll be doubling the dose on Saturdays and Sundays.
Go to ENT. Ear, nose & throat dr - just for my annual ear cleaning.

1-5 are the same as last month. I've been REALLY good about exercising (the scale says I lost 10 lbs, though admittedly 3 of those are from being sick and will probably come back. But 7 lbs is still good! :)). I've been reading a lot. Been writing a little. And making the apartment work-ready is an ongoing process. I hate how easily everything gets cluttered. :( And as for the job... well, I'm still sending the resumes out, and keeping my fingers crossed.

Recovering

2010-08-31T14:27:00.000-07:00

I've been sick with pretty bad food poisoning (salmonella?) since Thursday, and am just starting to feel like my normal self again. The lingering symptom is lethargy; even walking across the room saps my energy. So the apartment is a mess, I have way too much laundry to do, and I've been ignoring my basic routine. But I'll get there.

What really sucks is that I missed out on a job opportunity. It wasn't the greatest opportunity, but it was something. I had an interview on Friday, which the office moved to Monday. I was relieved about that, hoping I'd feel better. But when I woke up yesterday, I knew I couldn't do it. So I asked to reschedule... they got back to me this morning and said they had filled the position. Damn.

Anyway. I'm renewing the search today. M has been encouraging and optimistic. I hope that lasts.

Canon PowerShot Pro1

2010-08-19T19:32:00.000-07:00

I mentioned in a previous post that I was selling some items. Since this is a fairly big ticket item, I figured I might as well post some pictures and see if anyone's interested.

This was something M purchased 4-5 years ago for a trip we made. After the trip, he lost interest in it, and since then we've relied on more compact cameras. He purchased it for $800+. It still works perfectly. The case was an additional $20 or so, and maybe $5 for the lens cleaning supplies you can see peeking out of the front of the case. I'm asking $200 for everything. Email me at debtchronicles at hotmail.com if you'd like more pictures, have any questions, or would like to buy it. :)

Job Hunt Update

2010-08-16T17:55:00.001-07:00

It's been a week and a couple days since I met with the recruiter. I haven't heard anything back from her. She's on vacation now until the end of the week.

I've sent out 11 resumes in the last 2 1/2 weeks. I applied only to the decent jobs - I'm not desperate enough (yet) to slave away for $10 per hour at a small firm. That's incredibly insulting. I'd sooner take law school off my resume and go back to making $26 per hour as an assistant.

One of those resumes was to the recruiter, and that's the only person I got a call back from. Several of those were for paralegal positions, and I bet some of the people on the receiving end deleted my resume instantly when they saw I had a JD. Some of the ads on Craig's List actually got changed to say "no JDs."

I've had my resume and cover letter critiqued by the director of my school's career services department. Everything looks good. I have another 20 jobs I'm going to apply to today.

This is the first time in my life that I haven't had immediate responses from employers to my job inquiries. I know a lot of people who don't have jobs, from schools at the top to the bottom, and I can only imagine how many resumes are pouring in daily to the jobs that are halfway decent. It's a depressing situation.

I know I'm luckier than some people, because I have M... he's been paying for everything since my bar loan money ran out - rent, my credit card payments, food, etc. I intend to pay him back. But I'm tired of adding to the debt. That depresses me too.

I'm still optimistic. I'll try to stay that way as long as I can.

Books this week

2010-08-16T11:37:00.000-07:00

1) Grave Surprise by Charlaine Harris

This is the 2nd book in the Harper Connelly Mysteries. I like this series more than the Lily Bard one, although it's clear a romance is about to blossom between the main character and her brother (step-brother, not related, though if you're actively calling someone your brother, should you really then fall in love with him?), and I don't know how I feel about that. (Protecting those who want to read it from a sort of spoiler! ;))

Harper has the ability to locate dead bodies and see how that person died (though not who killed them). The ability was gained from a freak lightning accident when she was a teenager. People seek out her help, and are at the same time disgusted by her. She travels with her brother, who acts as a sort of manager and partner. Like all Harris' other novels, it's a fast, entertaining read, not something that sticks with you.

2) Dark Places by Gillian Flynn

This is Gillian Flynn's 2nd book, her first one was Sharp Objects (which I also loved). She's a fantastic writer, and she's kind of my role model at the moment. She even has praise from Stephen King (although I don't know how hard that is to get). Neither I would call horror novels (Amazon calls them "crime thrillers"), but they do deal with some horrible things. Sharp Objects disturbed me for a while after I read it, this not as much. That's not to say this book isn't as good as her first. It's very good, and had me hooked from the first paragraph.

The main character is Libby Day, and when she was a child, her brother slaughtered her family in their Kansas farmhouse. Circumstances make it so she must reexamine that day... we get to see things from her perspective in the present day as well as the perspectives of her family leading up to the murders.

3) Faithful Place by Tana French

This is the third book following the Dublin police squad, and her third book, period, I think. (French is Irish and her books, so far, are all set in Ireland) Her first was In the Woods, the second was The Likeness and this is the third. I've read all of them, enjoyed all of them, though I think this was my favorite. This would also fall into the "crime thriller" category. The first two books followed Murder Squad detectives - Rob and Cassie in the first, and Cassie in the second. The main character of this book is a detective in the Undercover Squad, Frank. I know he was in the second novel, I can't remember if he was in the first.

This book is the best of the three. I would still recommend the other two, if just to get a feel for the setting. Rob made me hate him in the first book, the second book uncomfortably reminded me of The Secret History - still, I enjoyed them. This book, though, I couldn't put down. If anyone does read this, we need to talk about the ending - I did guess it, but I was sure there was something else going on... but something else never materialized.

The main character is Frank Mackey, who has to revisit his childhood neighborhood, Faithful Place, when a suitcase belonging to a long-lost love turns up in an abandoned house. That woman broke his heart when he was 19 and set to run off with her to England - she never showed. The suitcase suggests that something else may have happened that day, and Frank is determined to find out the truth.

Random Stuff for Sale

2010-08-11T16:47:00.001-07:00

I've been cleaning out the closet and have come upon the following things that I want to get rid of -

Manga
Chumby
Scanner
Canon PowerShot
2 iPhones (the old ones, with boxes)
ThermaClear
Various fiction books
Various law books & Law in a flash cards
Bike helmet
Black shelves

So if you find yourself needing one of those items, email me at debtchronicles at hotmail.com and I promise I'll give you a good deal. :)

Books this week

2010-08-08T16:27:00.000-07:00

In the past week, I've read:

1) Shakespeare's Champion by Charlaine Harris

This is the woman who wrote the Sookie Stackhouse novels (aka True Blood). I'm a big fan of True Blood, but didn't really like the first novel it was based on, and also didn't want to spoil the tv series, so I stopped reading the books. But I have read this series (The Lily Bard Mysteries) and her other series (The Harper Connelly Mysteries). It takes place in the south (the town is called Shakespeare), the main character is a 31 year old white maid with a disturbing past, and there's always someone dying (and she's always getting mixed up in it). I feel like the writing in this series is MUCH better than the SS novel I read. However, I like the characters in the SS novels better.

I'm not a fan of the south. This book made me remember the reasons why. That said, it was still an engaging, fast read.

2) Shakespeare's Christmas by Charlaine Harris

Same as above...

3) The Carrie Diaries by Candace Bushnell

This is about Carrie from Sex & The City... but high school Carrie. Another engaging, fast read. Some of it annoyed the hell out of me, but I had to keep reminding myself that this was high school, and that makes it plausible. The ending made me a little giddy.

It feels so good to have time to read for fun again! :)

Interviewing... and Gel Nails

2010-08-08T15:58:00.001-07:00

I had my first interview last week. But it was with a recruiter, so it wasn't a "real" interview. They'll call me if they have any document review positions available. These are temporary, contract jobs, and pay from $30-40 per hour. That was more than I was getting paid as a legal assistant, but not by much. Assuming it would be full-time, it would be anywhere from $3462-4350 net per month. I'm also going to try to apply to the recruiting company itself. The recruiter said there might be openings. I don't know how much recruiters get paid, but it seemed like it might be an interesting position.

Yesterday I decided it was time to pamper myself, and make myself a little more interview ready. I've totally ignored my nails for months, and the hypothyroidism makes them prone to breakage. So I'm trying gel nails for the first time. I did the french manicure, and wanted them looking as natural as possible. I paid $88 in total (inc. tip) for the gel mani and a normal pedicure. This was a great deal more than I was used to paying; the local salons I usually go to charge about $25 for both., so I come out paying $30 with tip. That said, this place was much nicer than those salons.

The place I went to did "bio sculpture" gel nails, which I heard was better for you. They don't do fills, so in 3-6 weeks you come back and have them soaked off and then re-done. The manicurist first cut, filed, buffed and soaked my nails, and once they were dry, she began painting on the gel. She painted on a base coat, I stuck my hands in a machine (I think my nails went under UV light?). We repeated this process for each coat that went on. When I stuck my hands in to dry the final coat I felt a burning sensation. The manicurist said to take my hands out if it hurt too much (I didn't, because the pain subsided after about 2 seconds), and then said that some people feel pain at that stage and some don't. Those of you who have tried gel - is this normal??

It looks just like a normal french manicure, except it's supposed to last 3-6 weeks as opposed to 2 days. I figure it'll take me through interviewing season and then I'll have it removed. I love looking at it, but that burning sensation, plus the feeling of heaviness on my nails (I notice it more than with a normal manicure; feels like my nails are suffocating) makes me think it's not worth it. But I'm glad I tried it once. :)

August Goals

2010-08-02T23:57:00.000-07:00

Find a job. Ideally, this will pay $70k+.
Exercise daily. I haven't exercised since the beginning of the bar, but prior to that I'd been going to the gym, tennis or yoga daily for a month. I need to make sure I stick with that.
Write. I want to write a fiction novel one day (yeah, just like the million other people :p). If I don't start working on my craft now, it'll never happen.
Read. I'd like to read at least 1-2 books a week. I have SO many on my Kindle, I just need to sit down and read them. Maybe I'll take a walk to the beach or park and do it.
Make household work-ready. I want everything clean and organized. I don't want to scramble around looking for something M or I have misplaced. I want to stock up on necessities (soap, shampoo, razors, etc). I also need to get my pants hemmed, and maybe take some things to the dry cleaners.

2 Year Blog Anniversary

2010-07-31T01:14:00.000-07:00

It's been 2 years since I started writing this blog. A lot has changed, and a lot has remained the same. I'm still in debt, for one. But at least I've graduated from law school and taken the bar! So now I have a chance to really focus on tackling that debt. :)

Thanks to everyone who's been reading and providing encouragement and support over the years! Much love to you all!

Updated My Sidebars

2010-07-31T00:57:00.000-07:00

Yup, that day has finally come.

Total Debt owed to credit cards: $22,355

Total min credit card payments per month: $600

Total Debt owed to boyfriend: $24,754

Total Debt = $47,109 (the number on the sidebar doesn't reflect the $5600 I've paid to my bf)

The number scares me, but not as much as that number plus my student loans. I'll add that to the sidebar when I'm ready, but I'm not sure when that will be. I start paying 1 loan next month, and the rest of the loans in December. The payments will be more than the total rent M and I pay per month. I'm trying not to shudder.

The job hunt has started today. It's dismal out there, but I'm trying to think positive. I WILL find something, and something good! :)

Byebye Bar!

2010-07-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

3 days, 2 performance tests, 6 essays, and 200 MBE questions later... I'm free! (Well. At least for now. I don't find out my results for 4 months! And then I wouldn't retake the bar until February... but I'm trying to think positive)

So Day 2 was all multiple choice questions (this portion is called the MBE or multistate bar examination). 100 questions over 3 hours in the morning, and 100 over 3 hours in the afternoon. I finished 1 hour early in both sessions. The people next to me were really freaked out that I finished so early. I'm a fast reader, and I don't like to second-guess myself. I will flag some questions to return to, but that didn't really happen here. There were TONS I had to guess on. I narrowed it down to 2 answers, and then just took the plunge. It wouldn't have helped to stare at it for another hour. I heard a lot of people thought it was hard, so that's good... I'm glad I'm not alone.

Today, day 3, was another essay/performance test day. 3 essays over 3 hours in the morning, and a performance test over 3 hours in the afternoon. The essays were Corporations, Criminal Procedure and Marital Property (I hope I'm remembering that correctly). I felt ok on the first essay, but things went downhill from there. It was SO hard to keep my eyes open. I can't remember what I wrote, but I'm not sure it was that coherent. During lunch I had to go to my car and sleep. I felt like a truck had run me over.

The performance test though... I think I killed it. :) I was grinning at the end. Good times. I don't know if two performance tests can save me though...

Anyway. I feel pretty drained and not completely sure what to do with myself. I'm too overtired to sleep. I'm too lazy to take a shower. Maybe I'll just play Starcraft. (nerdiness, FTW! ;)) Or eat cookies. Where are the cookies when you really need them...?

Bar Exam, Day 1

2010-07-27T19:32:00.000-07:00

I woke up at 6am today. Actually, I woke up at 4, and 5, and 5:30... and then finally 6. :p I kept freaking out, thinking my alarm hadn't gone off. (which was silly, since I'd set 2!) I felt ok when I got to the test center, but an hour and a half in and I started to fall asleep!! I ate an energy bar before I went in, but I think I need to get a black tea on top of it (I'm not into coffee).

From 9-12, it was 3 essays - first Torts, then Ethical Lawyering, then Evidence. I couldn't remember most of the rules, so this was mostly me spouting BS. :P I ran out of things to write after 2 hours. And then the third hour was just me fighting to stay awake.

From 2-5, it was the performance exam - we had to write a brief, and it was regarding an injunction for a structure being erected in a neighborhood that violated a covenant. I felt SO good about this. I even thought it was kind of fun! But maybe everyone else thought it was as easy as I did...

So there's my little recap, for posterity's sake. :) I made a friend today too, very randomly. Not a bad day. But now I just really need a hot shower and a little nap... or maybe a long one...

Bar Week

2010-07-26T11:03:00.001-07:00

For the next three days, I'll be taking the bar exam. I don't feel very confident; I'll readily admit I didn't study enough.

But I won't find out whether I passed or not for another ~~two~~ FOUR! months, so I'm just going to push thoughts about it aside for now. I'm going to get through these three days, I'm going to take the weekend off, and then I'm going to immediately start looking for a job.

Wish me luck!! :)

Sorry for the absence...

2010-07-16T00:09:00.000-07:00

It's hard to find things to write about when you're jobless and mainly studying!

I have been updating daily on my fitness blog and (on the days I'm not wearing workout clothes) on my style blog. But it's easy to just post photos of my outfits or to track what I'm eating. :p

We've started ordering dinner from a food service a couple nights a week, which is much cheaper, and much healthier than getting delivery or eating out. We've only been doing it for a week, so I'll wait a little while longer before I write a full post about it.

Less than 2 weeks until the bar... We'll see how it goes. I'll start looking for a job the second it's over!

Veggie Dinners

2010-06-29T16:26:00.000-07:00

I've run into a bit of a dilemma. M likes to get takeout every night (of course I like it too, but it doesn't feel right!). And I'm not talking cheapie takeout - we get Cheesecake Factory (and CPK, BJ's, etc) takeout. It's costing anywhere from $40-100/night, and it's fatty. (Especially fatty because somehow a cheesecake always ends up in the order) M pays for it. Yes, he can easily afford it. But still... it's too much to spend on food!!

Neither of us is much of a cook, so we can't come near the "deliciousness" (his words) of these restaurants. I'd like to try though. He or I could at least cook a yummy side, and then pick up a pre-cooked meal at Whole Foods to go with it... right? I don't routinely shop at Whole Foods, so I'll need someone to enlighten me as to whether they have pre-cooked meals and if they're tasty. We also have a Trader Joe's close by, and a Co-op, and the Farmer's Market a couple times a week.

The second part of the dilemma is that M has decided he doesn't want to eat meat during the week. I'm fine with that. But can anyone offer suggestions as to filling, healthy, easy to make delicious dinners that don't involve meat (or tofu, because he hates it)? We discussed it and decided that fish once or twice during the week was ok.

Which brings me to the last part of my dilemma. ;) I want to lose weight, and he needs to gain it. He's still within normal range, but on the VERY low side. How can I fatten him up while slimming down myself? Just put more on his plate?

Any help is much appreciated! :)

July Goals

2010-06-29T14:12:00.000-07:00

Continue organizing my closet. I put a bag together of lots of tops, but I still need to look through my jeans, skirts, and shoes.
Continue posting on my new fashion blog and my old fitness blog. It's been fun so far. :)
Stay on top of bar study. I didn't stay on top of studying in June. I'm really behind. I feel apathetic about it, and I know I shouldn't. But after 4 years of studying... I just want to be free! Anyway, enough with the excuses!! I need to be a study hermit!
Go to the gym & do yoga and/or tennis daily! I've been going to the gym daily for the past week... need to keep that up! Also, I need to go to yoga on the days that M doesn't want to play tennis. I've been eating better, and exercising, but I feel like I'm still gaining weight. :( Could be the hypothyroidism... or I just need to exercise more.
Update side bars. I need to stop putting this off!! I don't want to see the numbers though. :p

Short list this month... because I really need to spend nearly all of my time studying, and a little bit of time exercising. The bar is only a few weeks away!!

Budgeting

2010-06-28T16:39:00.000-07:00

I have $1303 to last me through the end of August (though hopefully I'll find a job early in the month). I've already made my rent and credit card payments for July.

$80 gas (July-Aug)
$100 food (July-Aug)
$565 rent (Aug)
$650 credit cards (Aug)
= $1395

I'm still trying to sell my purses... but haven't yet posted them on ebay. I have Rebecca Minkoff and Botkier purses that I also want to sell. So hopefully that'll help me make up the deficit!

Selling My Purses, Part 1

2010-06-22T14:38:00.001-07:00

I'm finally going to start listing my purses on ebay (but will first be posting them to the blog)... I'm starting with my two Tylie Malibus.

Both were bought new from ebay 2 years ago. The white leather one was $387 and the blue suede one was $199.

Email me at debtchronicles at hotmail.com if you want more pics or would like to make an offer. :)

Overwhelmed

2010-06-14T11:29:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the absence. I've been overwhelmed by life lately and not much feeling up to posting. I have been posting on my other blog, but that's because it doesn't take much brainpower to upload outfit pics. ;)

I'm still terribly behind on bar study, and I'm feeling very anxious about it. I'm also anxious about my health problems, which currently include leg circulation issues and numbness in the tips of my toes. I don't know if it's because of the hypothyroidism, because I haven't been exercising and/or because of stress. Maybe I should go the doctor, but thinking about how much it's going to cost is stressing me out even more. My individual PPO is crap. It seems it hardly covers anything. I got at least 6 bills ($300+) from 2 doctor's visits and 2 blood tests I did over the past couple months!!

M tried to get me on his insurance at one point, but the company will only allow same-sex unmarried partners. (My dad put his girlfriend on his insurance, so I know that some companies will allow opposite-sex partners) I'm just going to have to hope that I find a job quickly after the bar and it comes with good health insurance.

I still haven't done a budget, but I know I can make it through at least the beginning of August. I hope I've lost some weight by then, because otherwise I'm going to have to scrape some money together to buy new work clothes... everything is so tight and uncomfortable. :(

M keeps telling me that he wants to take me on vacation after the bar... I don't know what destination he has in mind, but wherever we go, I can't WAIT! I just need to keep reminding myself that there's an end to bar study, and a reward, in sight.

We Bought a Car

2010-06-02T15:27:00.000-07:00

I mentioned this in passing, but M and I bought a car. It cost $11,000. Technically, M bought it, and I owe him half somewhere down the line. The car was paid in cash, no loans involved. The thing is, it wasn't for us. It was for my mom.

It makes me feel a little uncomfortable to talk about it. Yes, he and I have been together a long time. He said he wanted to do it. I argued against it. Ultimately he convinced me that it would be the best thing to do for us and for her. But I suppose it makes me feel ashamed. And guilty. His parents are very well-off. My mom, who has been jobless for years, is not. She has never asked us for money, but she's expected other things. I mentioned at some point that a relative lived with us for a year - that was her.

My mom was just beginning a career in academia when she had me. She left her career behind to be a housewife. When my dad divorced her, after 20+ years together, she was left with nothing. She gets by with some alimony, but I fear anything could send her over the edge - medical bills, utility bills, whatever. M never wants her to live with us again (she's a very kind, happy person, but being around her makes me the opposite, and hey, privacy?), so he's very determined that we pay for whatever we can to make her stable. And by "we" I mean "he"... ever since I stopped working to concentrate on school, I haven't been able to contribute to anything other than our rent and our cell phone bill.

So... I feel guilty. He doesn't talk about it, he doesn't seem concerned, and I know he feels pleased to be able to help. He makes a lot of money; he has a lot of money saved. But whatever, it's not fair to him.

I should add that she's extremely grateful about the car, and I know it's made her life a lot easier. But I'm getting really tired of M and I bailing her out. Have I mentioned I've given her $15k over the years? Anyway...

June Goals

2010-06-01T14:52:00.000-07:00

~~Call Sallie Mae. They denied one of my forbearances (all my undergrad loans were due today, but I pushed them into alignment with my grad school loans - 6 months from now) and I can't figure out why!~~ - It was a private loan, so I had to pay $50 first! sigh.
~~Mail out bills. M's check to his periodontist and my check to one of the labs that did my TSH bloodwork.~~ Dropping them off after I pick up M from work.
Organize my closet. I need to find things to sell/donate. I bought a few suits/tops for work (yes, I've been bad) and it's getting stuffed in there.
Start posting on my newest blog. I thought it'd be a good way to keep track of my outfits, and to remind myself that I really have a lot of nice things, and I don't need to buy anymore. :p
Organize the house in general. I have tons of papers that need to be filed, and I need to clean out the dining room area to make room for M's bday present (a bike! shh ;)).
Stay on top of bar study. I'm already behind because of being sick. I need to make up for that ASAP and never fall behind again.
Go to the gym & yoga daily! I have a voucher for 20 yoga classes (xmas present from M) that I have to use by the end of the month, plus I need to get off my ass and start moving again. I've been so lethargic and unmotivated lately... I need to get out of my funk!
~~Return shoes/clothes to Nordstrom~~. I bought a suit and work shoes online and then found them on sale a few days later! Everything's returned! Just waiting for the credit to show up on my acct.
Update side bars. I've been putting this off forever! I need to figure out exactly how much debt I have.
Do a budget. I need to figure what's the bare minimum I need to last me through August (in case I can't find a job immediately after the bar).

Falling Behind

2010-05-27T17:16:00.000-07:00

I've been sick for the past week. I've been doing bar prep from home, or trying to do it anyway. I feel a little better today, but what with the pounding headaches, stuffiness, nausea, and hives (! who knew hives could be a symptom of the common cold?) of the past few days, it's been incredibly difficult to concentrate. So I've fallen behind. I'm trying to focus on getting well first... and freak out about the fact I've fallen behind later. Or not freak out, and play catch-up over the weekend. (Is it possible to stuff a week's worth of bar prep into 2 days? I guess I'll find out!)

On top of that, the apartment is a mess and I have friends coming tomorrow night. Normally, I take out the trash, clean the dishes, and generally organize the place daily... it's amazing what our place looks like when that doesn't get done for a week. M just isn't bothered by it. (Why?!?)

Anyway. I'm going to continue to take it easy today, hope the puffiness in my face subsides (um, should I be alarmed that the hives that appeared last night are still hanging around?), and try to absorb legal knowledge by sleeping on my books.

How we got our rent decreased

2010-05-17T10:53:00.000-07:00

I was asked by a commenter to explain how we got our rent decreased by $100/mo.

First, it was just a good time to ask. It's definitely a renter's market around here right now. We knew it was a good time because (1) two units have been open in our 14 unit building for months; and (2) I checked Craig's List and found units within 1-2 miles of us that were going for less than we were paying.

We're also good tenants. Always pay rent on time, no issues with neighbors, and we're on good terms with the resident manager.

I typed up a one page letter asking for our decrease. At the time I wrote it, our lease was approximately 2 1/2 months away from expiring. I began the letter by stating that M and I had enjoyed our time in the apartment, but we were facing a tough decision in regards to renewing the lease, because of the "abundance of nearby less expensive units." I then expressed some fear about crime (our bikes were stolen from the building's parking lot soon after we moved in). Other than the bike issue, there is really VERY little, if any, crime in our area, and we feel safe, but I mentioned it for leverage.

I then brought up the two vacant units in our building and the cheaper nearby units (I gave the addresses of 2 comparable units I found on Craig's List). I ended the letter by stating exactly how much we pay now, and exactly how much we wanted to pay. I then asked for a response by the beginning of the month (I gave them about a 3 week window).

I delivered the letter to the manager and we chatted about it for a little while. She said she really didn't want us to leave, and that she would express the sentiment to the landlord. At that point, I was pretty confident that we would get the decrease. A few days later, she stopped by and said the landlord had agreed to it. And that was that. :)

I'm Free! (sort of)

2010-05-13T18:27:00.001-07:00

I survived finals hell. And now I'm trying to survive social hell (just kidding... mostly ;P). But I do have to be way WAY more social than usual the next three days. And I'll be running between museums, the airport, theme parks, restaurants, nail salons, school... A lot to do, a lot of people to see. I already had one day of family time and I'm exhausted!

Part of that exhaustion could be the hypothyroidism. Yep, I definitely have it. I went to an endocrinologist, and she - in a very disappointed voice - informed me that my TSH levels are higher than they were before (beyond subclinical levels), my antibody level indicates Hashimoto's, and my thyroid is enlarged. She gave me two sample packs of Synthroid, which I'll be taking daily, and I'll be doing follow-up bloodwork in 6 weeks. I was feeling kind of down about it this morning... but I'm mostly apathetic now. I already take birth control daily, what's another pill? And if it increases my energy levels and helps me lose weight... that would be fantastic.

I have a ton of other stuff to write about, but it'll have to wait until Monday... after bar class. Yeah, it starts the day after graduation. I get NO BREAK! It's making me feel a little crazy. But I'm sure I'll pull-through. I have to.

Finals Hell

2010-04-21T12:20:00.000-07:00

I have a 20 page paper and a take-home final due on Monday at 6pm. I'm trying to get the paper out of the way in the next few days and then work on the final from Friday-Monday. I'm also picking up a 2nd take-home final on Thursday (which I assume will be due next Thursday).

I have to start studying for my other exams immediately after I'm done with take-home #2. The first one is on May 4th, and the last is on the 12th. And then the day after that my relatives are arriving, I have to get my hair/nails done, and finally, the thing I've been anticipating for 4 years - graduation!!

Needless to say, it's going to be a very busy couple weeks.

I have a couple of blog posts in the back of my mind (like, did I mention M and I bought a car... for my mom?), but it'll have to wait until then.

Hope to see you guys when I get back... with my newly-minted JD! :)

Rent Decrease Requested

2010-04-15T00:21:00.000-07:00

...and now we're patiently waiting for an answer from the landlord. We asked that they get back to us by the first of next month.

M and I decided to try for a $100 decrease. That would be fantastic, though I would be fine with $50 as well. I've never tried to negotiate for a rent decrease, but I've also never rented during a renter's market. I'm optimistic about our chances.

But if they flat-out refuse, then it's back to the hunt. I'm feeling blase about the whole thing now; I like our place enough that I would be happy to stay, but if we had to leave I'm almost certain we could find something as good or better.

EDIT (4/21): They agreed to the decrease! :) That's a $1200 savings, and we can not worry about moving for another year. woohoo!

Options

2010-04-13T11:34:00.000-07:00

Moving into M's parents' house is no longer an option. His dad found a contractor who said they could start construction in 4 months and be completely done in 9. So we'd have to be out in 4 months. We figured it wouldn't be worth it.

The two options open to us now are staying in this apartment and moving out. If we stay here, I was considering asking the landlord to lower our rent to $1150 (a savings of $75/mo). There are tons of 'for rent' signs in this area (in our building alone there are 2 units; both of which have been on the market for months). My assumption is that she wouldn't agree, but might come back with a counteroffer of $1200 (a $25 savings).

If we moved out, we could likely get a place for our current rent or cheaper, and maybe with some extra perks. There's an apartment I'm looking at today that is $30 cheaper, gated, a mile closer to M's work, allows pets, and has a pool! The only downside is that they're looking for someone now, and our lease doesn't expire until the end of June. If we move at all, I would actually prefer to do it now or in late May, because it'll just be too stressful the closer I get to the bar. But considering our building still has 2 empty units, what are the chances of finding someone to assume our lease? Then we'd get stuck still paying 2 months of rent here!

I really want a puppy, but maybe it'd be best, financially, to put that off for another year. Our current place doesn't allow pets, so that was one of my motivators. They're also building a huge skate park across the street, and we're wary of the number of kids that will be drawn to it. We had our bikes stolen last year, and people routinely walk through the complex and check out the trash can. Are we going to have more of that kind of stuff happening, but worse? On the upside, our neighbors here are really nice (though the unit next to us is empty, so we might be stuck with someone nasty). We're settled here; we finally put pictures up on the wall, organized everything. It won't be fun to get this right all over again.

Needless to say, I'm conflicted. What do you guys think is the right move?

Bar Prep

2010-04-09T11:49:00.000-07:00

Just paid for my bar preparation class this morning, in full. $2000 went on a credit card, and $300 and some change came out of my bank account. Had I gone with Barbri, it would've cost me $1000 more. The program I went with is new... though the company itself has been around a long time. I think I feel ok about it. I wish I could've gone without a class entirely, but I don't think it would've been smart to try to study on my own. Some people can do it with no problem, but I'm a procrastinator.

If all goes well, the first installment of my $13k bar loan should arrive in a few weeks. I'm debating whether or not to pay the $2000 off outright. It might not be possible. I need this money to stretch from now until early August. That's the soonest I can start working. And honestly, I can't WAIT. I'm so sick of school. I just want to be out there making money again.

April Goals

2010-04-06T12:06:00.000-07:00

I have a lot of school work to take care of this month... and it's really important that I stay on top of it!

Week of April 5th

~~Do quiz/answer forum question~~ Done.

Week of April 12th

~~Finish research assignment 5~~ Done.
~~Answer forum question~~ Done!

Week of April 19th

~~Finish 20 pg paper~~ Done on 4/23

Week of April 26th

~~Finish take-home final #1~~ Done on 4/26

Tuesday, 4/27

Organize and clean the apartment
Take bar loan check to bank (if it arrives)
Visit Mom

Wednesday, 4/28

Yoga, 11-12:30
Go to school, 2-7
Print out outline, look at sample tests & do flashcards for final #1
Print out all handouts, powerpoints, etc. for take-home final #2

Thursday, 4/29

Start on take-home final #2
Yoga, 4-5:30

Friday, 4/30

Yoga, 11-12:30
Continue working on take-home final #2

Moving?

2010-04-05T21:49:00.000-07:00

M's dad proposed something to us over the weekend that I'm kind of excited about! His dad and stepmom bought a house recently. It's about a mile away from where we currently live, and about half a mile closer to M's work. They're going to do a lot of work on it before they move in; I think they're adding an extra bedroom, a pool, some other things - apparently it's on a huge lot. But before the construction can get started, they need to get their permits approved.

This is where we come in. They think it'll take 6-9 months for the approval process. During that time, the house will be vacant. So M's dad asked if we'd like to live there during that time - rent free.

The downside would be that we'd have to move twice, possibly in a 6 month period. But we'd save anywhere from $7350-11025. M also expressed some hesitation over the fact that we'd get to live in the house first. It's his parents' dream house, they've been saving many years for it, why do we get to take advantage of it - that kind of thing. I also wonder if they'd want to visit all the time - it is their house, after all.

What do you think? Is it worth it? Any other potential downsides that I missed?

Waiting it out

2010-04-01T19:01:00.001-07:00

I saw an endocrinologist today. I liked her; she really seemed to know what she was talking about. Nothing really got accomplished though; she said it'd be best if I waited until next month to have my blood re-drawn. It makes sense (because my TSH levels could be fluctuating for some other reason right now), but I hate waiting.

I find myself second-guessing all my symptoms. Maybe they're just from stress? I've been exercising the past two weeks, but I still haven't been feeling so good... tired and run-down. Maybe this is just normal for someone who's a month away from finishing law school.

Another stressor came in the mail today. Remember how I was fired from my job last summer? Even though I filed my moral character application last year, it still hasn't been completed. Apparently that job is the reason. They're requesting more info. Thankfully, I basically have the entire thing documented in emails... I really see no reason why it'd be an issue after I produce them. Still... it makes me nervous. :\

The next three days I'll be spending with M and family... It'll be nice to do something fun, get my mind off things.

Student Loans

2010-03-29T17:30:00.000-07:00

I picked up my financial aid packet the other day in preparation for my exit interview. It included a summary of my student loans. I wasn't exactly surprised by the number, but it did make me feel sick to my stomach.

Ready for it?

Fed Perkins Loan: $1800
Fed Sub Stafford Loan: $34,000
Fed Unsub Stafford Loan: $46,000
Grad PLUS Loan: $133,362

For a grand total of... $215,162.00

Was law school worth it? Uhh. We'll see in a couple months...

Spring Break

2010-03-29T10:46:00.000-07:00

It's my spring break this week. Only 2 weeks of school left after this. Crazy!!

My main goals for this week are pretty simple: exercise daily and study/work on my paper for school. I've made a detailed study plan, so hopefully I can stick to it. I'm also seeing the endocrinologist on Thursday... looking forward to some closure on the thyroid issue.

I haven't been productive this morning, but hopefully that'll change after I hop in the shower. I might try to take it easy today, clean the house a bit, and then do a little research for my paper. I'm super sore and tired from all the exercise (and socializing) I've done the past few days... I need some r&r!

Hypothyroidism, take 2

2010-03-24T18:43:00.001-07:00

The results of my 2nd blood test came back (partially). My TSH level was over 9. Previously my level was a little over 6. My doctor said it was fine to try diet and exercise, but it was clear that she preferred I go on medication. I agreed to let her write me a prescription - she set it at 50 mcg.

I did some more research on it when I got home. Apparently, there's a lot of controversy over whether to treat people who have a TSH level between 5-10. I have what's called "subclinical hypothyroidism." It may morph into hypothyroidism later on, and it may not.

I've become hyper aware of my symptoms lately. I've always complained of tiredness, but now I feel especially tired, I feel like I have digestion problems, I have random aches, etc. But they're all relatively minor things. Is the medication really going to make them go away? And more importantly, do I really need medication?

I'm going to set up an appointment with an endocrinologist tomorrow. I'm hoping they'll do more exploring and rule out Hashimoto's disease and pituitary gland problems, and just generally provide more insight. I'm a (relatively) healthy 26 year old. My weight is normal. Yes, I have high levels of stress. Is that really the cause of this??

Incoming Income

2010-03-22T20:15:00.000-07:00

My W-2 finally arrived today... bye bye taxes! :) I should be getting a (somewhat) significant refund back, with the ETA being April 1st.

I also applied for a bar loan at the beginning of this month. The funds from that should arrive mid-April. They're coming just in time, because that's when I have to pay the balance of my bar prep course ($2400).

I keep putting this off, I know, but as soon as those funds come in, I will definitely update my side bars. With that money, I should know how things will stand from now until August (when I start looking for a job, post-bar!).

Countdown

2010-03-22T19:22:00.000-07:00

I have less than 2 months from now until graduation. Taking a cue from See Jane Get Rich, I thought I would itemize all the assignments I have left before I am really, truly DONE with law school. :)

Monday Class

Final on May 4th

Tues Classes

Take-home final handed out 4/13, due 4/20

Final on May 10th

Wednesday Classes

5 quizzes
5 forum posts
20 pg paper due April 26th

Assignment, handed out 4/7, due 4/14

Final on May 12th

Thurs Class

Take-home final handed out on 4/22, due 4/29

Unfortunately, the only thing I can work on right now is my 20 pg paper. Everything else... I'll just have to take as it comes! May 12th is my last final, and May 16th is graduation! Woohoo!

Couple Money Giveaway

2010-03-20T14:59:00.000-07:00

Couple Money is giving away a netbook! For a chance to win subscribe to Couple Money either with email updates or through RSS and follow them on Twitter. Visit their site for more details!

I have a laptop that I use for school. It's ultralight, but the battery life sucks. I would love something that lasts more than a couple hours. Then I could bring it along to the beach or to the park to write! :) Anyone know how long the battery life lasts on the Asus netbooks? Just curious...

Anyway, good luck to everyone! :)

Health Update

2010-03-18T13:24:00.000-07:00

I went to the doctor today. I got a copy of my test results. My TSH level was above a 6, everything else was normal. She took another blood test - I should get the results back on Monday. If the level is the same or higher, she wants me to go on medication (I assume Synthroid?). I told her I wanted to try the diet/exercise route first, and she said that was fine, but we'd have to monitor my TSH level to see whether it continues to increase.

My insurance doesn't cover brand medication. I'm wondering if I should call them and add it. How much is Synthroid going to cost with zero insurance coverage?

Also, I looked at the list of side effects... those of you who take Synthroid, have you experienced any of the side effects?

If all the little problems I have are really a result of a thyroid issue, it would be nice to take a pill every morning and have those problems magically disappear...

Hypothyroidism?

2010-03-17T18:44:00.000-07:00

Those who follow my tweets know about this, but it's continuing to weigh on me... I hoped writing about it would take some of that weight off.

I went to my OBGYN a couple weeks ago for my yearly exam. She decided to run some extra blood tests along with the normal stuff. One of the tests was thyroid related, measuring TSH levels. I can't remember why she wanted to run it, but I guess it doesn't really matter. I was called a few days ago with the results - my TSH levels are elevated. I was told to go see my primary care physician. I'm going tomorrow, where I assume more blood will be taken and a full panel of tests will be run.

I've scoured the internet for info, and the elevated TSH levels mean one of three things: (1) I have hypothyroidism, (2) I have a problem with my pituitary gland, or (3) the results were inaccurate. I would love for it to be #3, but I have a suspicion that it'll turn out to be #1. Hypothyroidism has a genetic component - my grandma had it (but was misdiagnosed/treated, and ended up with a thyroid that was completely killed off). I also have a few of the symptoms (though admittedly there are many things that could explain them away - tiredness? lack of exercise; cold hands & feet? I get cold when it's cold!; irritability? just my personality! ha).

As a result of what happened to my grandma, my mom is extremely opposed to the treatments available from doctors; she thinks changing my diet and exercise is the way to go. I found websites that supported that line of thinking. And I found other sites where people couldn't function without taking a pill daily.

I went to the dentist this morning, and I mentioned my test results when the dentist was examining my neck/thyroid. Later, her assistant came up to me and said she was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and the doctor wanted to immediately operate on her. She refused, changed her diet, and 6 months later was fine. She claimed that the doctor just wanted to operate to make money off her - thousands of dollars for the thyroid surgery.

I can't say her anecdotal evidence swayed me one way or the other, but for now, I don't see any harm in trying out the natural route. Even if the results of the new tests come back normal, and the doctor says I'm fine, it'll still be good to stick to the routine proposed by the sites I've read - at least 30 minutes of exercise per day, and cutting out any goitrogenic foods.

Something else that scares me is how this will effect my current and future insurance. If I'm diagnosed with this, and do need to take medication, it'll be for the rest of my life (so I've read). Will my insurance cover the medication? And will the condition bar me from switching to another insurance provider in the future?

Do you know anyone who's suffering from a thyroid condition? Any sage advice for me?

Missing M... and my W-2

2010-03-13T13:43:00.000-08:00

M has been gone for a few days to a work conference... and I'm missing him like crazy! It's his first time going on a trip without me. I would've tagged along, but my midterm got in the way. Boo! Well, absence makes the heart grow fonder... right? ;)

I'm going to spend the weekend organizing and cleaning the apartment. Our place is in desperate need of spring cleaning, and in a way I'm glad M isn't around... because he'd just convince me the place was fine and to play games with him. :P

Tomorrow I'm aiming to assess my finances, and FINALLY update my side bars.

I am hoping against hope that my W-2 will arrive today, so I can finally do my taxes. It's driving me crazy. I usually get them done at the end of January! I've called HR three times now, and each time they've assured me it's on its way. W.T.F. I seriously don't understand what the problem is. What am I going to do if months go by and I still haven't received it? My work's HR is in a different state... I can do nothing other than call. :(